RANDOMNESS!
by Project X
Summary: What happens when my computer blows up while I'm writing fan fiction? Well all the characters from the RE world are sucked into reailty, having to face me and look to me for answers I don't have.
1. Prologue: What The?

**(Hey guys! This is just a random idea that popped into my head and robbed my ability to sleep. I'm dedicating this to my friends, EcoSeeker, Bio Fears, and InuInuLoveLove. Also to the ingenuis Speacial Agent Funk, whom I read one of your parodies laughed my guts out then got my idea for this.)**

**RANDOMNESS!**

**Prologue: Your following her because she's a fanfiction writer?**

It was late at night and I was working on my computer. I was finishing the last chapter of 'My job at the station'. I flipped my long brown hair back as I thought about Valery's last line. I messed with my glasses til I got my answer. I typed in my last words in as sparks flew out of my computer.

"Holy crap!" I jumped from my couch where my computer lay. The sparks got worse and then for a few minutes my computer was fine then it exploded. "Aw! Man!" I yelled. Then there was a huge flash of light and in mid air I could see a portal showing my 'Project X' account along with my picture of Wesker and all my fan fiction. Then the portal turned into a small ball of light and flew through my door.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked myself before looking back at my ruined computer. "I'm dead meat." I whispered picking the computer up and throwing it into a bag I would later take to get fixed. I shrugged off the events and went to bed.

When morning came I took a shower and got dressed. When I went to grab a cup of orange juice my mom was waiting for me in the kitchen holding what was left of my computer.

"I can explain." I said.

"Well then I'm waiting." She said tapping her shoe.

"It exploded last night because of some glitched wiring." I said opening my ice box getting some juice.

"Alright I'll have it looked at later." My mom sighed. "Now don't miss the bus." She said walking outside.

"I won't." I rolled my eyes taking a sip from my juice.

After that I walked outside and got on the bus going to my first day back to school. All my friends had different classes from me as I had failed freshman year. It was by noon that I was tired and already ready to go home.

I was walking down the hall right before the lunch bell sounded taking papers to another class. When a bright light flashed in front of me and a portal opened. The papers flew out of my hand as I landed on my but and sheilded my eyes. The last thing I saw was Wesker's picture from my fan fiction page before the flash of light disappeared.

I heard footsteps in front of me and I opened my eyes to see...

"Oh HOLY CRAP ITS WESKER!" I yelled as he stood in front of me not looking to happy. But when was he happy...only when every one else wasn't.

Wesker quickly grabbed me by my throat and rose me up above his head, easy as if I were a sandwich...yes I said sandwich live with it!

"Where am I? Who are you? Whats going on?" Wesker barked off questions as I was still in the air.

"Um...at Haven Highschool in Colorado, Jamy Boyd, and I think you just came out of a portal that my computer created. Linking your world and my reailty through my Fanfiction page. I think." I answered and he dropped me. "Ow!" I yelled rubbing my but.

"I must get back to my base!" He yelled face to face with me.

"Uh...sorry can't help ya there buddy. Your not in your own world any more and I have no idea how to get you back." I said inching away from his angry form.

"Then I would suggest to you Miss Boyd to find out quickly." Wesker growled as he stepped back and looked around. Then the lunch bell rang.

"Oh boy." I said out loud knowing this wouldn't be easy.

**(Was this any good? If it wasn't I'll just leave it. If not I'll bring in more characters.)**


	2. Wesker

**Chapter 2: Don't you have anything better to do?**

During lunch Wesker had disappeared, I thought maybe I was just hallucenating. But when my 8th period Bio class came around I nearly fainted. I took a seat and there Wesker was teaching the class.

'How the hell?' I tilted my head and stared. 'Dosen't any body reconize him?' I looked around, the girls in the class gigled and the guys looked completely scared. Nobody could figure out why he looked familar. He wrote his name on the board, 'Mister Smith?' I tilted my head again. 'I swear if he killed my actual biology teacher.' I sighed and tapped my pencil as he actualy started explaining viruses. He was surprisingly a good teacher, things I didn't get last year seemed simple now thanks to him. But I wouldn't tell him that.

When the bell rang I tried to sneak out of the class before he noticed me, but it was futile.

"Boyd!" I heard him call my name and I froze. "Stay after class." He said cooly sitting at his desk. After every one left I sat down.

"Look I told you I don't know how to get you back, plus did you kill my biology teacher?" I asked, he looked at me through his sunglasses.

"No." He shook his head. "It seems when what ever you did Miss Boyd transported me to this world I took another man's place." Wesker then held up an ID card with his face but another name. "I took the prevolge of discovery that Mister Smith than man whom I took his place, has a rather good job as a Biology teacher. He has a condo apartment in town, and a rather good car." Wesker explained.

"Oh well thats good." I said leaning back.

"I also looked into you Miss Boyd." When he said that I crenged. "You proved to be quiet clever at a young age but allowed your grades to drop recently. Your brother is in college, your mother works almost 24'7 as a bank manager, and your step father is never around while you spend your weekends at your father's. You are also quiet anti-social, but your teachers believe you show great potential." Wesker said as if he was reading it off.

"Oh yeah you know my secert, I'm a lazy bum who decided to die at a young age. Wippdy friggen do." I said rolling my eyes nearly forgeting who I was talking to.

"I suggest you pack whatever you need tonight." Wesker added stacking papers.

I had to do a double take on what he said, "What?"

"I have already spoken with your mother, you will be staying with me until we discover how I can get back." He explained.

I jumped up, "You gotta be kidding me!" My life expectency dropped right there. Wesker stood up and walked torward me.

"I am not kidding. If you believe I actualy wish to baby sit you Miss Boyd your wrong. Whatever you did took me away from a very important meeting and I am not to ...happy about that." I was surprised he wasn't choking me while he said that. "Now I suggest you run or you will miss your bus."

When he said that my body worked on its own and I ran to my bus. That night I was alone as usual and oddly enough did pack. I watched some tv and took a bath before I went to bed.

I woke up in the middle of the night that night and sighed, 'It was only a dream' I thought then turned over and was greeted by sunglasses. "GGGAAAAA FHGFHYTSGFXGHCFJJHGNV!" I spoke giberish jumping up on my bed.

"It seems I startled you." Wesker stated sitting on my desk chair his legs folded.

"Wesker...my room...dream...not a dream...death...yep death." I mumbled to myself then looked back at him. "YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK YOU STALKER!" I yelled then tensed as I was only wearing a short shirt and nothing else. "WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!"

Wesker only chuckled, "It seems you already packed, I will allow you to dress." He left my room after that.

I took a deep breath after he left, "Oh my god I'm gonna die." I whispered and quickly got dressed in my black sleeveless shirt and black shorts. I then looked at the clock, it was 4 O'clock in the morning. I mumbled as I walked into my living room where he was waiting.

"Its 4 O'clock in the morning! Whats the big idea watching me sleep!" I yelled grabbing my red bag from him.

"I arrived here at 10 but you were asleep and I saw no reason to awake you. I can tell you have sleeping problems." Wesker stated.

"I had a bad child hood thats all you need to know." I said looking away.

After that Wesker started walking down the hall then stopped and looked back at me, "Another thing Miss Boyd, I had a look at the Fan Fiction site you menttioned and looked for you. Project X is an interesting user name and your fan fiction itself is very...interesting."

I blushed and looked away, "You should see the yoai." Was all I could say to cover my own tracks and finally turn the tables.


	3. Krauser

**Chapter 3: Krauser Appears.**

Wesker was right he did have a nice car but having to explain Yoai kinda ruined the mood.

"Yoai is guy on guy sex, while I'm hentai any form of sex although I'm straight and its only and exception with girls on girls." I explained as Wesker drove into the midnight hour.

"You menttioned something about Yoai fan fiction. What were you talking about?" He asked not taking his eyes off the road...thank god.

"Well...yeah see..I...you gotta promise not to kill me if I tell you." I said folding my arms.

"Miss Boyd if I had any intention of killing you I would have done so by now." Wesker stated.

I rolled my eyes, 'not like I haven't heard that a thousand times before.' "Okay then, I was talking about people like making Yoai fan fictions of you and Chris." I said and he grew silent gripping his hands on the steering wheel. "But I don't write stuff like that...but I kinda enjoy reading it." I slightly whispered.

I could feel Wesker getting angry as he thought about such things and disgusted, I decided to not say another word the entire rest of the trip.

When we got to his condo I was in awe as I got out of his car, it was huge. An entire apartment complex actualy. I grabbed my bag and walked inside being created by a cute bunch of orange and white kittens.

"Aw!" I sat my bag down and pet them all. Wesker then looked inside and just stared as I played with the kittens. "I'm surprised you didn't kill them all or something." I said looking up at him a kitten on my head.

"I am not a vulgar monster as you may believe Miss Boyd." He stated then sat on the large couch in silence.

I spotted a huge flat screen TV, a few game consoles, a gaming labtop and desktop, and WiFi internet. A dreamers heaven with the guy of a dreamers heaven...and kittens!

I ran around looking at all the awesome gamer tech then tripped over a wire. "Opf!" Landing on my face. Wesker then got up from the couch where kittens had been tackling him and picked me up sitting me back on my feet.

"Thanks." I said nodding to him then looked at the gutiar that I had fallen over. "Cool." I picked up the gutiar and looked at it. "Odd question but can you play?" I asked.

"Why yes I can." He stated messing with his sunglasses.

"Cool." I then sat the gutiar back down and got on my account. I had missed a few messages from EcoSeeker, Biohazardous Fears, and InuInuLoveLove. I checked the messages then my stories. All of a sudden it hit me, I could turn what just happened to me into a story. After that I started typing and named the story, 'RANDOMNESS!' the one you are probably reading now. I typed out the first two chapters then sighed, I decieded to take a shower and clean up since school would be starting soon. I grabbed my red bag and claimed the room with camo ,RE, and Metal Gear Solid wallpaper to be mine, in that room was a bathroom which I used to shower and change. When I came out with wet hair and clean clothes the lights flickered and another portal appeared in front of me. I saw the words Krauser before the portal disappeared and a nude man was in front of me.

"Not again! Wesker!" I yelled making Krauser stare at me then cover his 'Manhood' and blush. When Wesker walked in things didn't get better. Quickly Krauser took a pillow from my bed and covered himself. 'Mental note wash pillow then sell it on ebay.' I thought getting up from where the wind from the portal knocked me down.

"Krauser!" Wesker yelled and Krauser saluted him." Well at least it wasn't Redfield." Wesker mumbled as he pulled Krauser away to explain everything and get some bloody clothes.

I took a deep breath as a naked Krauser scared the crap out of me. After that I went to check out the kitchen. It was HUGE! It was like a resturant kitchen, it reminded me of the one I wrote about in 'Albert Wesker tribute'. I shrugged the thought off and opened the freezer which was full of my favorite food and drinks. "Screw orange juice I'm drinking this caffine root beer!" I yelled louder then I thought getting a root beer.

"So your the kid responisible for this." I heard Krauser say making me jump.

I covered my eyes and turned around.

"I GOT CLOTHES ON GOD!" Krauser yelled.

I uncovered my eyes and saw he was wearing a normal sleeveless gray shirt and blue jeans.

"Hey normal clothes really suit you." I stated and he looked down at himself.

"You think so?" He asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Soda?" I offered.

"Beer." He said.

"I don't think we have that." I said looking in the freezer.

"Damn." He mumbled.

"Krauser Boyd!" I heard Wesker yell and rolled my eyes. 'I'm not one of your minions Dang it!'

Me and Krauser walked into the living room where Wesker was sitting a kitten on his head and his lap.

"KITTENS!" Krauser squeaked running up to them and grabbing the one from Wesker's head. "I'm naming you beret, cause I miss mine." He said then put the kitten on his head.

I couldn't help but laugh. But then Wesker death glared me and I sat down on the recliner.

"Hey before you start what ever meeting your planning maybe we should name the kittens." I said.

"That is perposteras." Wesker said scoffing.

"Oh come on boss!" Krauser yelled also getting a death glare.

"Fine." Wesker mumbled.

"I'll name two, Krauser already named one and you can name one Wesker." I said and picked up a pure orange kitten. "Your Ichigo." Then I picked up a kitten that was all white except for a grey paw. "And you Lupin the 4th." I smiled the watched as Wesker picked up a pure black kitten.

"You are Wesker's Servant and will not pee on the carpet." Wesker said, I rolled my eyes. 'Darn Sith lord mind tricks.'

"I'll call him Servy!" I yelled.

"That deems the naming process redundant." Wesker stated glaring at me.

"Well my middle name is 'Render things redundant'." I said putting my kittens down.

"Really? Thats a long middle name." Krauser asked the kitten still on his head.

"Yeah I know I get told that all the time...NO thats not really my middle name!" I yelled getting up and grabbing my side bag for school.

"Krauser you must stay here and guard the house." Wesker said getting up.

"And the kittens." I added.

"I'll guard the kittens with my life!" Krauser yelled as me and Wesker left for school.

***Reviewers corner***

Me and Wesker are sitting on a couch, we turn as the lights come on.

"Good evening this is the Reviewers Corner. This is my part of the fan fiction where I will devote every ounce of my being to the reviewers questions, statments, or acts of randomness they want their favorite character to perform. Wesker will be my co-host." I explained as I flipped my hair back in a TV host like manner.

"I will do no Acts of Randomness." Wesker said crossing his arms.

"You will if a reviewer asks you to." I said sternly.

"You are beginning to get on my nerves Boyd. First you force my character to rape you, countless times, then turn you into my servant with the T-virus, then give me an insain side. You also get me to kidnap you several times for your fetish. If any one here is an Evil Megalomanaic it is you." Wesker said glaring at me.

"So what I'm part fan girl, you don't see me throwing you to Chris though do you? And you don't see me trying to take over the world." I said rolling my eyes and shrugging.

"Touche." Wesker said getting quiet.

"He really dosen't like the idea of me forcing him into a yoai." I whispered to my readers. "Okay now for the first comment today is InuInuLoveLove who inspired this segment. She wants me to tell you your a pervert Wesker." I said turning to him.

"Only in your fan fiction Boyd." Wesker said turning away in a pouting motion.

"Oh man up!" I yelled then turned back to my readers. "Well thats all we have for today tune in tomorrow to see Star Wars jokes and Chris show up." I smiled as the camera zoomed out.

"WAIT! CHRIS IS GONNA SHOW UP NEXT!" You could hear Wesker yell.

**(Submit your questions, comments, or random acts of randomness by review please.)**


	4. Chris

**Chapter 4: My friends and a sith lord.**

"Hey Jamy!" I heard my friend Mary call my name when I entered the lunch room.

"Hey." I said walking up to her.

"What happened to you yesterday? I heard the new scary Biology teacher asked you to stay after class." She asked carrying her tray along with her as we sat down at our lunch table.

"Nothing just..uh wanted to tell me about my grades." I lied.

"Really? Okay." Mary shrugged and began eating some of her chocolate cake.

After that my worst nightmare happened, Wesker appeared behind me in the middle of all my classmates. Mary stared at him then turned to me.

"Hey isn't that Albert Wesker?" She whispered to me.

I started laughing, "Of course not thats Mister Smith, he just looks like Wesker." I said out loud then grabbed Wesker's jacket and dragged him out of the lunch room. "Whats wrong with you? You trying to get people to beat me up?" I asked and he raised an eye brow.

"I only came to ask if you wished to go out to eat. I do remember you mentioning something about school food being enedible." Wesker stated.

"Oh...well thats actualy really nice of you. Yeah that sounds good." I said feeling a bit embarrased.

"Alright." Wesker nodded and we started walking down the hall together until a huge ball of light appeared and another portal came out in front of me. The name inside was Chris.

"OH CRAP!" I yelled falling on my back again Wesker beside me. Chris then appeared out of the portal in a suit as if he was giving a speech after RE 5.

"What the? Where am I?" Chris looked around then spotted Wesker. "Wesker! You had something to do with this!" Chris then pulled out his gun and I jumped up.

"As much as I wish I was responsible for your appearence I am not. Miss Boyd here is." Wesker pointed to me.

"Whoa whoa! Put the gun down before some one sees it!" I yelled and Chris gave me a nasty look. "Mister Redfield I can promise you I do not work for Wesker, your here because a demention portal from my fan fiction page pulled you here. Also your in a school where you will get in big trouble if you have a gun." I explained calmly.

"Its true Christopher." Wesker said nodding. "In this world it seems we are merely video game characters who have been pulled in thanks to Miss Boyd." Wesker stated.

Chris then slowly put up his gun looking around to see the lockers in the hall way, then he looked at himself surprised by the suit. He fished through his pockets to find a wallet and ID card.

"So who did you end up being?" I asked jumping behind Chris' shoulder.

"A Mister Peterson, a government teacher who lives at Hich Drive apartment complex." Chris read off from the ID card.

"You must be joking." Wesker said snatching the ID card from Chris' hand.

"Oh wait!" I remembered now that Hich Dr. was the same apartment complex we lived in. "OH!" I nodded.

Wesker then handed Chris back his ID card and scoffed. Chris was about to punch him when I stepped between them. "You two gotta make a truce until I get you both back home! If you don't you'll end up getting each other thrown in jail or worse! I'll get thrown in jail! And I'm a miner! Now make a truce, and when you two get back you can beat the crap out of each other." I said making them both glare at me, I glared back. "Do either of you know how to cook?" I asked.

"No." They both shook thier heads.

"Well then if you don't want to starve I suggest you do as I say!" I yelled putting my foot down.

"Fine." They both said but folded thier arms and scoffed at each other.

"Good now Chris I...aaahhh." Before I could finish my sentence Wesker grabbed my collar and started pulling me away. "Well I guess I'll see you later Chris! Don't let any one know who you are!" I yelled and Chris confusingly waved good bye.

**Later during 8th period...**

"Now does any one know how this certain virus spreads?" Wesker asked.

Nobody answered only snoring was the noise you could hear through out the room. Wesker saw it was a young guy that was snoring and had his pants hanging down to where you could see his underwear.

Wesker slowly aproached him and I ate at my finger nails watching. He took his long stick pointer and slapped him across the head with it.

"Mister Simmons I do not apreciate sleeping in my class. If you wish to sleep go back to kindergarden where you belong or prison perhaps where your baggy pants we get you as some ones gay bitch." Wesker said coldly making me smile, that guy deserved it.

"What the hell you talking about?" He asked drool coming from his face. "F you." **(This being slightly censered I will not say the F word.)**

"Well then I suppose I will call your father and tell him not only are you sleeping in my class but you are losing brain cells smoking weed with your friends at lunch." Wesker added.

Simmons eyes went wide and he shut up, "Sorry sir." He said with his Chicago accent.

"Good." After that Wesker walked back up to the class and I started day dreaming, not about him but about Star Wars why I didn't know. I dreamt Wesker was a Sith Lord and I was a Bounty Hunter. I was below him and he was on a balcony.

_"If I join the dark side do I get a cookie?" I asked holding my helmet._

_"Yes but thier sugar free." Wesker stated looking like Darth Vader._

_I then fell to my knees saying, "NOOOOOOOOO!"_

"BOYD!" I then heard Wesker yelling and snapped out of it.

"Yes Wesker...I mean Mister Smith!" I covered my mouth.

Wesker flexed his glasses and looked at me disprovingly, "How does this certain type of virus spread?" He asked coldly.

"Um..." I looked at the board. "Through dead skin cells from an infected member." I stated.

"Very good now finally we may move on." He said waving me off.

"Hey whats up with that stick?" Another friend of mine, Audrey asked sitting beside me whispering.

"Its his light saber." I said getting a confused look from Audrey. "Because hes a Sith Lord but only has sugar free cookies." That statement only confused her more but I shrugged it off and thought about cookies.

***Reviewers Corner***

The camera zoomed into me and Wesker, we were still seated on the couch. Wesker with his legs folded, me behind a desk.

"Welcome back to "Reviewers Corner". Say hello Wesker." I said turning to him.

"I will not say hello to people who are not physically here." He pouted.

I rolled my eyes again, "Well any way we got some questions and guests today. Come on in guys!" I yelled and the camera showed Chris and Krauser came in and sit on the couch to my right while Wesker was on my left. "Good evening, Chris, Krauser." I nodded to them.

"Hey JB!" Chris said.

"Hey whats with the wierd camera? Aren't we in a fan fiction?" Krauser asked.

"Don't think to hard about that Jack." I said then turned back to face the readers. "Okay we got some questions, one from a friend of mine InuInuLoveLove."

"Her again?" Wesker said and I threw my shoe at him.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I yelled and turned back to the readers. "Now as I was saying, InuInuLoveLove asks: Chris, Wesker how do you feel about the Yoai pairings between you two?"

"Disgusted. All who have written such things will perish the day I become god!" Wesker said rubbing the side of his head where I threw the shoe.

"Um...really scared, violated, and confused." Chris said folding his legs tightly.

"O-kay and there you have it InuInuLoveLove." I said taking a paper I had from my desk and tossing it. "Next is 'Wesker's Servant'."

"You mean the kitten?" Chris asked.

"No I mean..." Wesker cut me off.

"Sora?" He asked.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I threw my other shoe at Wesker. "Yes Sora, now for her question: She wants to know how you've stayed so hot even though your 40." I said to Wesker.

"Simple my dear Sora, the T-virus slows the ageing process imensly. So truly I'm still in my early 30s." Wesker explained and the camera went back to me. "Also Krauser, here." I took a beret from under my desk and threw it to him. "She said she felt nice at the moment and wanted me to give you it back."

"BERET!" Krauser yelled hugging and kissing his beret. The camera then went back to me.

"Well thats all for tonight, join us tomorrow for when Jill returns and a few other guests as well." I said the camera zooming out.

"JILL!" You could hear both Chris and Wesker yell.

"KRAUSER and BERET!" You could then hear Krauser yell.

**(Now don't forget you can ask any RE character to answer any question or do any act of randomness or hear any comment you mite have towards them, just submit it as a review and it will be so heard.)**


	5. Jill and Leon

**Chapter 5: Jill, oh please help me!**

"Your not gonna kill him! For the last time! You made a truce!" I yelled as both I and Wesker walked into the condo complex, destined to soon be filled with RE characters.

"I do not see why I must obey you Miss Boyd." Wesker said turning to me as he threw his jacket onto the coat hanger.

"Because I brought you here and I can take you back! Besides I know you, you can live with Redfield for a few months and just torture him then kill him when you get back. You'll find it all the more sweeter in the long run." I stated then sat on the couch laying face down.

I could hear Wesker scoff then stop, "A few months?" He questioned my words.

"Yeah my mom called me and told me the computer that brought you guys here won't be fixed but for a few months. Maybe you can find something interesting to do while your here so you won't find it a complete waste of time." I explained my voice muffled as I was still on the couch. I could almost hear Wesker growl thinking about being stuck here with HIM.

In a few moments I found myself in mid air as he held me by the back of my shirt, "Perhaps like experimemt with this world's viruses on an incompetent girl." He growled out looking at me in the eye.

I shrugged and smirked, "You and your evil ways. Look its not that bad, maybe while your here you can sorta vacation and clear up any trouble you were having with the virus with a clear head." I said and he dropped me. "Opf! And learn to be gentler." I said rubbing my head after I hit the floor.

Wesker could only give me a content cold look now, "Perhaps." He shrugged and went to his room which I dare not enter.

"Wow close call." I said letting out a breath I was holding in. After that I got up and went to the kitchen where Krauser was putting little berets on the kittens turning them into an army of kittens. 'Wesker with an evil army of kittens, wouldn't that send every fan girl over the edge.' I thought laughing to myself as I pictured it. "Hey Jack, what'cha doin?" I asked leaning over him.

"Teaching these kittens how to fight, that way the can be the kitten task force protecting boss's evil lair." Krauser explained.

There was only a moment of silence before I fell on my back laughing, "Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! OH MY GOD! KITTEN TASK FORCE! THATS HILARIOUS!" I laughed rolling back and forth, Krauser giving me a pouting look. "Sorry Krauser its just thats so freakin funny!" I said standing up again.

"WHAT IS ALL THAT NOISE!" Wesker yelled coming in the kitchen.

"It was the kitten task force!" I yelled hiding behind Krauser.

"That is the most ridicluas...thing I have ever heard!" Wesker said folding his arms.

"AW! But boss!" Krauser gave Wesker a teary eyed look and Wesker rolled his eyes and walked away.

"Its okay big guy I believe in ya." I said patting him on the back.

"You do?" He asked brightning up.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Yeah!" Krauser yelled while dancing with Lupin the 4th and Servy.

'Aw! Thats just sooooo cute! Now if only he was shirtless.' I paused then grinned. "Hey Krauser take off your shirt will you." I said.

"Sure." Krauser then pulled off his shirt and continued dancing with the kittens.

"Thats for you EcoSeeker." I said to myself as I went to check the freezer. It was almost completely empty as earlier all it held was soda. "Well this is a problem...oh dear god."

"Yes?" Wesker said coming up behind me.

I jumped, "STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME! GOD!" I yelled.

"Yes?" He said still staring at me.

I sighed, 'Him and his ego.' "We have to go shopping for food. As soon more people are gonna be staying here and we...some of us need food." I stated.

"Mmmmm, I suppose we could visit the local super market." Wesker said back in his monotone voice again.

"YEAH! WERE GOING ON A TRIP!" Krauser yelled jumping around still shirtless. Wesker stared at shirtless Krauser then back at me.

"I'm guessing that is your doing." He said giving me the eye.

I smiled and shrugged, "You caught me red handed. You can blame a girl for wanting to look and I know you won't take your shirt off...oh maybe Chris will?" I said now rubbing my chin. "And Leon." I whispered evily.

"Miss Boyd I would like if you came back to reailty, before I lose complete pateince in you." Wesker said snapping his fingers.

"Oh! Yeah right super market." I nodded my head and ran out of the kitchen and into one of the numerous rooms in the complex. "Chris!" I yelled seeing he was playing with the Xbox360 with the flat screen he had in his room tilting back and forth, playing Mordern Warfare.

"Yeah?" Chris asked not taking his eyes off the TV.

"Take off your shirt." I said and mindlessly he did so still playing Warfare. "Thats for all the Chris fangirls out there." I whispered. "Now put it back on, were going to the Super Market and I need you to come." I explained.

"Aw!" Chris said pausing his game and putting his shirt back on. "Wait when did I take my shirt off?" Chris asked.

"You just did it randomly as I came in." I lied smiling. "Now if you want stuff you like you better hurry." I said then walked back to the living room where Krauser and Wesker were waiting. "He'll be a minute."

"Why must we bring him along?" Wesker asked disgusted with the fact he lived under the same roof as HIM.

"Because I don't know what he likes, or what Krauser likes, or what you like. And don't give me that 'I'm a tyrant I don't need to eat' speech. I've heard it all before many a time." I explained folding my arms.

"You truly are sinster." I heard Wesker mumble.

"You don't know the half of it." I smiled.

**(FYI I'm only doing stuff in this fan fiction I would actualy do.)**

**At the super market a few moments later...**

Chris and Wesker refused to stand beside each other, so instead Chris stood on my left looking away from Wesker and Wesker stood on my right looking away from Chris. All the while Krauser was running around on a cart pushing himself around yelling "WIIIIII!". I thought maybe Wesker and drove him to insainty as I feared he would do to me and I knew he already did it to Chris as when we went to look at cereal, Chris went looking for the one with the best prize inside. I couldn't help but sigh as I went to WAl-Mart with Chris Redfield, Albert Wesker, and Jack Krauser. I felt like I was in a parody or something.

"Every body like chicken?" I asked in the freezer section.

"I do!" Chris yelled.

"ME TOO!" Krauser agreed running by us still riding in a cart.

"Good then thats our last stop, thank god." I said putting chicken in the cart that was nearly full.

"Your welcome." Wesker said standing beside me.

"Would you stop that!" I yelled feeling like throwing the chicken back at him or more likely slapping him with samon like in Monty Python.

And just as I was about to throw samon at him another portal appeared. "Oh boy." I rolled my eyes as both Leon and Jill appeared. Leon in only a bath robe and Jill in her blue street clothes with long blonde yet slightly brown died hair. "I hope you guys like chicken." I said.

"JILL!" Chris yelled running up and hugging her.

"LEON!" Krauser did the same but alot stronger trying to brake the secert agents ribs.

"Krauser let go of Leon before you inspire a yoai!" I yelled and they both stared at me.

"Where are we Chris and why are you with Wesker?" Jill asked.

"We gots lots of explain'in to do." I said mimicking a spainish accent.

**About an hour and 30 mintues worth of explaining and putting up goods back at the condo...**

"And you and Chris can share a room." I said to Jill showing her around. "And I'm really sorry about this."

"Its okay its not your fault." Jill said not to taken back by my explanation. Also she ended up taking the place of my math teacher Miss Drake. While Leon is the new Gym teacher, oddly enough he's Mister Scott.

"Go tell that to Mister I'm gonna kill you after this Wesker." I said putting my hands on my hips.

"Well I've never seen any one convince Wesker of a truce before even under such circumstances. I wonder why he obeys you?" Jill wondered.

"Don't know." I shrugged. "Better go see if Krauser's killed Leon yet, good night Miss Valentine." I said and walked away before she could say anything more. I then walked into Krauser's room where there were two beds and Leon was staying in the other one. "Any one in here dead yet?" I asked leaning in the door way.

"No, but I did apolgise to Kennedy." Krauser explained.

"Yeah and I apolgised to Krauser." Leon said.

"Good." I nodded. "Because if you two try and kill each other I'll sick Wesker and Chris on you." I threatened. Then I saw the kittens in the middle of the room and that they were both petting them. "Leave it to kittens to bring two men together." I whispered leaving the room.

"Every one will end up sharing a room before long." Wesker said appearing from the darkness behind me scaring the crap out of me.

"STOP DOING THAT YOU DADGUM SITH LORD!" I yelled.

Wesker gave me a raised eye brow, "Sith Lord?"

"Yeah from...oh never mind, what were you talking about?" I asked shrugging it off.

"I was speaking of the fact that soon every one will have to share a room and I am not sharing a room with any of those vermin." Wesker explained.

"So?" I asked not seeing how it pertains to me.

"So, that leaves you Miss Boyd. You may be annoying but I think I can live with it as you say, good night." And with that he disappeared.

"Yikes scary." I said then went to my room for the night.

***Reviewers Corner***

The camera shows once again me at my desk and Wesker on the couch to my right. It zooms in only showing me at my desk with my hands folded.

"Welcome to another Reviewers Corner, where we answer your questions and acts of randomness. Say hello Wesker." I turned to him.

"For the last time I will not...Opf!" Before Wesker could finish I threw a samon at him and then camera turned back to me.

"Tonight we have some guests with us, say good evening to Mister Krauser and Jill Valentine!" I yelled the camera showing the two sitting on the couch to my left.

"I still don't get what the camera's are for?" Krauser asked.

"Jack...what did I tell you about thinking to hard?" I asked.

"To not do it." Krauser stated.

"Good boy, now to the question. First ones for you Jill from Wesker's Servant: She asks how do you feel about the JillX Excella fan fiction?" I asked and Jill covered her mouth and puicked over the side of the couch making Krauser scoot away. "And there you have it. Okay now you Krauser, Wesker's servant wants to know how you feel about KrauserXLeon fan fiction." When I said that Krauser's eyes went wide. He looked around quickly and hid behind the couch.

"I feel violated! No one was supposed to know about that one incident in Africa!" He yelled then ran off stage crying.

"O-kay." After that I dropped a peice of paper and went to the next question. "Oh and one more thing from Wesker's Servant, Wesker. I turned to Wesker. "These are her exact words: 'Wesker...even though you're over 40 you're a hot walking contradiction to your own age and sorry for over-worshipping you, I can't help it curse my Wesker fangirlism!' Also you don't get to comment that." I said reading from the paper. Wesker only sat back and growled. "Okay to the next question from Biohazardous Fears: 'If there was this... Strange occurrence and Chris and Jill got married and had this kid... Named Valery Redfield, and she had powers like you but was just that much stronger and faster... Would you be scared?'." I said reading from the paper turning to Wesker.

"Of course not! I feel no emotions and weither or not her virus is stronger than mine I will always out wiegh any human or virus infected being in experience. I would do the same to her as I did those annoying Ashford twins." Wesker stated.

"Oh speaking of Ashford! This is for you InuInuLoveLove." I said then grabbed my magic wand and pointed it at Wesker turning his black suit into a black dress.

"Why you!" Wesker then ran up and started strangling me but tripped on his high heels in the process.

"Well there you have it my reviewing public! Join us tomorrow for when other members of the RE cast join us!" I said as the camera started zooming out, then the lights went out. "Crap forgot to change that light bulb!"


	6. Shadows and song theory

**Chapter 6: Bad ideas**

Finally Saturday had rolled around, I had dreaded the idea and decided to go out on my own and get some peace, but some people won't have that.

"Boyd!" I heard Wesker yell as I was about out of the door.

I turned around slowly to see...

"Um Wesker where's your clothes?" I asked seeing as Wesker was only wearing boxers. Then I looked around and saw every guy whom was either playing Modern Warfare or kitten warfare was only wearing boxers.

"That is what I was going to ask you." Wesker stated folding his arms not to happy.

"Well as much as I'd like to be responsible for stealing every hot RE guys clothes, I'm not. Talk to Jill I think she said it was laundry day." I explained and turned to the door but stopped. 'I'd be an idiot to walk out now.' I thought then closed the door and started my way into the kitchen but was stopped by tugging. "What the?" By the time I turned around I was in my under wear and my clothes were in the dirty clothes basket. "WHAT THE HELL?" I yelled covering myself blushing.

"If I must go with out then you must go with out." Wesker said smirking.

"And you said you weren't a pervert."I rolled my eyes and headed torward my room but Wesker blocked my way. "MOVE!" I yelled and he picked me up and put me on the couch between Leon and Chris.

"Stay there." Wesker commanded walking back off to his room.

"Well any room for me to enter the game?" I asked as both Chris and Leon stared at me.

"Sure." Chris nodded and then got hit over the head by a passing by Jill as he had been staring at me in the wrong place. "OW!"

"Watch your eyes Redfield." Jill said taking a basket of clothes to Wesker's room.

"Hey we gonna play or not?" I asked folding my arms.

"Yeah!" Leon and Chris nodded handing me a controller and we started playing.

**10 rounds of major pwning later...**

"Wow its alot easier to kick your asses then I thought." I said getting up from my seat. "I'm going to get some clothes on now." I then started walking to my room and saw Krauser who was playing with the kittens again still trying his kitten army out. "Silly Jack." I shook my head and headed to my room. While I was getting some clothes on I played one of my favorite songs on my Ipod speakers and started singing along.

**(Snow White Queen, by: **EVANESCENCE)

"Stoplight, lock the door.  
Don't look back.  
Undress in the dark,  
And hide from you,  
All of you.

You'll never know the way your words have haunted me.  
I can't believe you'd ask these things of me.  
You don't know me."

I sang as I put my black shirt on and my my blue jean pants.

"You belong to me,  
My snow white queen.  
There's nowhere to run, so let's just get it over.  
Soon I know you'll see,  
You're just like me.  
Don't scream anymore my love, 'cause all I want is you."

I then heard another voice, I turned to see Wesker singing along with the song. It felt as if he was talking to me, it was kinda creepy.

"You know Snow White Queen?" I asked turning my speakers off.

"Yes, contrary to your belief I do listen to music." He answered.

"Um...good for you." I said and walked out the room into the kitchen to get some food. 'He sure can be creepy some times.' I thought as I grabbed a soda and decided to head outside. I looked to see it was about noon and that I'd go meet a friend, Danielle Wolf in the park where she usualy was. But half way to the park I encountered a few bullies.

"Hey Boyd!" I heard them use my last name and shuddered.

'I think I've decided to let only one man call me by my last name.' I thought turning to the three large teenaged guys who had picked on me since kindergarden. "Ever hear of shiverlery?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Wha? F no!" The guy shouted throwing a knife at me.

"Gah!" I yelled as it cut into my shoulder. 'They've never been this holstile before!'

"That teacher man that you bitch with, he's making my girl hard to deal with. Get him out of the school or you mite find yourself against a wall." The leader of the group explained kicking me in the ribs.

"Gack!" Spit covered my face as I fell to the ground. I felt my ribs crack under the guys foot. "You BASTARD! I'm no ones bitch! I have no control over him! SO GET THE HELL OFF ME!" I yelled then felt cold metal and blood against my cheek. I closed my eyes and heard the guys laugh as he started to cut my shirt. Then I heard a huge BANG noise and silence. I opened my eyes a second later only to feel arms picking me up, I looked around. Wesker was holding me up while Chris, Leon, and Krauser beat the snot out of the guys who hurt me.

"Are you alright Miss Boyd?" Wesker asked.

I wipped the blood from my lip, "I'm fine." I said getting up from his arms and starting to walk only to stumble over from lose of blood from my shoulder. Wesker grabbed me again holding me up.

"You should be more careful you are a Snow White Queen after all." He chuckled as I flipped him off while passing out.

"No snow just ...shadow." I said as I passed out in his arms.

**Most likely a few days later...**

I opened my eyes only slightly and saw Wesker, Rebecca Chambers, Billy Coen, and Claire Redfield looking over me.

"Hey she's awake!" Rebecca yelled.

"Good, inform me when she has finally stabilized." I heard Wesker say as if I was one of his experiments and at the thought I passed out again.

**Only shadow...**

_***Reviewers Corner***_

The camera zoomed in to me at my desk, my shoulder bandaged and my glasses slightly broken.

"Welcome back to the reviewers corner! We have alot to discuss today. But first Wesker please tell me you didn't experiment on me." I said turning to Wesker who seemed to have a smirk on his face as he leaned on his couch.

"Maybe I did maybe I didn't." He replied.

"Great now I have to wait till later to find out." I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Oh well. For our guests today we have Leon Scott Kennedy, Jack Krauser, Chris Redfield, and Jill Valentine!" I yelled the camera showing all the guests sitting beside each other on the enlarged couch on my left. "Alright now that your all comfy, our first question is from InuInuLoveLove:TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT!LET US SEE WHAT YOU LEARNED FROM THE GOVERNMENT AND TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF,LEON!Oh,sorry for that,you've been my favorite character since I was five!' Is the exact quote." The camera then turns to Leon.

"Um thanks." Leon blushes then gets up and takes off his shirt revealing huge abs. "Is that good?" He asked being shy.

"Yeah just let her drool over your image." I said the camera still on him.

"I don't see how she could be 'drooling over his image'." Wesker said off screen.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I yelled throwing a shoe at him. Then the camera came back to me and Leon sat down. "Alright our next question comes from EcoSeeker AKA Audrey: She wants to know how you felt when Capcom killed you off, Wesker?" The camera turned to him.

"The only way to discribe how I feel is this sentence: They will pay." Wesker replied and the camera came back to me as I threw another peice of paper from my desk.

"Okay then watch out Capcom, cause Wesker's coming after ya." I said smiling. "Okay now for the next statement, its from BioHazardous Fears: 'Ok thank you Wesker. Your over confidence will help me when portraying you in my Fanfic! And Leon pick one Ada or Claire!' Is the exact quote. Leon?" The camera turns back to Leon him still shirtless.

"Um...I...um...Claire." Leon said getting an evil stare from Chris. "Ada!" Leon then got a skull flaming stare from Claire behind the scenes. "Claire! Oh please make it stop!" Leon yells running off stage.

"Ha! Okay now to another question." I stated as the camera turned back to me. Then off screen a candy cane brought Leon back to his seat while trying to protect himself from Chris. "These questions are from Wesker's Servant: 'For Reviewers Corner, I want to know what happened between Krauser and Leon, if he doesn't mind I would like to know what Wesker's comment was going to be after my whole over-worshipping statement. Chris...why couldn't you be smarter in RE5 it would've made things a whole lot easier for me, Leon are you still protecting the President's daughter and if so how can you stand her? Jill, when you saw Nemesis what was the first thought in your head and how did you really feel when Brad was killed and what was your true motivation for knocking Wesker out the window in the Spencer Estate?' Is the exact quote. We will go in order of the questions stated. So how about it Krauser Leon?"I said. The camera turned to the two of them.

"Well..." Krauser rubbed his chin. "I told Leon about my personal thoughts about gaining power and joining Wesker. He continued to tell me it was a bad idea and that I should take forced retirement in peace. I got angry at him for that and the years I spent away only fueled the anger I suppose." Krauser explained making every one drop thier jaw as Krauser had not been serious once in this fan fiction.

"Cool." I nodded. "Okay Wesker." The camera then turned to Wesker.

"Ahem, my dear Sora no one can over worship me for I am god. There is only possibilty for under worship in which you do not do." Wesker stated and I rolled my eyes as the camera came back to me.

"Okay now Chris." I said and the camera went to Chris as he was eating a sandwich that had Barry's name on it. "So thats where those sandwiches go." I said off screen.

"What?" Chris asked with a full mouth then swallowed. "Oh yeah, wait hey! What do you mean be smarter? I was in a depressed state okay." He said then began eating Barry's sandwich again.

"O-kay." I sighed then the camera came back to me. "Your turn again Leon." I said pointing to him. The camera turned and he had his shirt back on.

"Um...yeah I still protect the Presidents daughter but only from afar, thank god." Leon answered.

"Okay Jill your turn." I stated from off screen as the camera turned to her.

"Okay first off, I kinda pissed my pants when I saw Nemsis I mean who wouldn't. The Tyrant was one thing but that guy was another, I regretted staying in Raccoon after that. Secondly I was sad Brad was dead, sure he was a chicken heart but he was still a good guy and third I was saving that idiots ass duh." Jill explained pointing to Chris who was still munching on a sandwich.

"Okay." I nodded and the camera turned back to me. "Alright last question for tonight, and its from Boss-Slayer: 'Leon what are your feelings toward your harem and out of them who do you like the most? Wesker what are your feelings toward Ada?' This is an exact quote and were going back to Leon." I said the camera going to Leon only to find he was hiding behind the couch cowering. "Well lets let the poor guy calm down shall we, so Wesker." The camera then turns to Wesker.

"I and Miss Wong have a pure business relationship nothing more. Unlike what others write." Wesker growled and the camera turned back to me.

I threw a few papers off my desk and looked at the camera, "Alright now before we go tonight I'd like to give a shout out to Biohazardous Fears and InuInuLoveLove for mentioning me on their profiles. I'm about to put a post up on mine as well, also I'm going to be out of town for the rest of the week but I will update when I get back. Join us next week when I wake up to find a surprise in store." I said the camera zooming out.

"Yes quite a surprise." Wesker purred.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!"


	7. Surprise!

**Chapter 7: Surprise!**

When I woke up I was back in my room on the bed. I remembered every one talking about the new members of the house hold. First was Rebecca, she was the new school nurse, then Billy who was along with Leon the new gym teacher, then last was Claire the new Art teacher. I had heard them talk about that when every one was around my past out body.

I slowly got up from the bed and looked around then noticed something.

"WESKER! YOU ARE SOOOOOO DEAD!" I yelled noticing that I was nude and all my clothes were missing from my closet. I ran out the door and every one stared then averted thier eyes. "Yeah you better look away from the nudness!" I yelled and marched into Wesker's room where he was reading a biology book sitting on his 'throne'. "Where are all my damn clothes!" I yelled.

"Being destroyed." He answered in a cold voice looking up at me as I covered myself.

"WHAT! You better have a good damn reason why!" I yelled not even caring I was nude at the moment.

"They were clothes for humans." He answered.

I blinked and let that sink in...'Oh no he didn't...' I could see the slight smirk on his face as I was getting angerier. 'Oh yes he did.' "NO YOU DIDN'T! Wesker if you tell me that you infected me not only am I going to kill you I'm going to make your life a living hell!" I yelled my face completely red.

"Empty threats Miss Boyd, are not very becoming for a Snow White Queen." He said grinning his head off.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! DO YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS IT WAS TO INFECT ME! AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THE VIRUS HERE?" I continued to yell my voice not wearing down.

"I suggest you watch your tone." Wesker stood and loomed over my body but fear was one thing I never worried about. I had been suicidal in my life so death was no longer my fear. "And yes I knew it was dangerous but the wound on your shoulder was worse then I thought. You could have easily died of blood lose." He stated.

"And you care why?" I asked folding my arms.

"Because Miss Boyd you are my largest asset at the moment and while you are around Christopher, he could easily recruit you into his army of fools. So instead I took my chances and recruited you into mine. It seems to me it wasn't just your computer that transported us here, it needed a specific human element and that was you. Where ever you are is where the portals will appear which interests me greatly. I have never meant some one quite like you Miss Boyd and now that you are infected with my blood I will be able to watch over you more carefully. Mind you the others know nothing of this, Miss Chambers believed I was giving you a vitamin shot. It also seems you body excepted the virus and bonded with it rather quickly, which was surprising and there were no side effects...except the fact that when you are enraged the yellow in you green eyes starts to glow." Wesker explained in his monotone voice quite happy with himself.

I couldn't help but laugh, making him raise an eye brow.

"First my computer blows up, then you appear and read my fan fiction, now I'm infected!" I laughed slowly losing my mind. "I must be in a coma, thats the only logical explanation. I've never had such good luck in my life! I've always wanted strength now I got it, I always wanted to have a conversation with the Albert Wesker now I can! My lonlyness and suicidalness must have finally gotten to me. I'm probably dead and in limbo or something, cause this cannot be happening!" I yelled after I stopped laughing.

I so badly wanted an answer I wanted to see if it was all real, so I did what I used to do. When people cut themselves they bleed, but for me I bit my arm till it started to bleed...which is ten times more painful. I did so biting into my arm my teeth sharper then before. But before I could draw blood I felt a punch to my stomach and my back hit the wall. Then Wesker above me with his boot on my stomach.

"Does this feel real Jamy? It may seem Illogical but this is how things are. I read you are a very distant person creating your own world to escape your horrible reality, but what would you do if reailty was no longer horrible? Would you run and not except it? Or would you endulage in it while you could? If you even once begin to show suicidal tendencies I will restrain you. You are still very usefull to me right now and I do not see that usefulness decaying any where in the future, I will not let you die until I decide it is your time to die." After Wesker said that I felt tears, I usualy never showed emotion but I couldn't contain it.

"Alright." I nodded then took a deep breath as I got up from the wall. " Thank you and sorry. I lose it sometimes. Your right though, but your usualy right. But there is one thing, I'm not in this war of yours. I may be a solider but I will not fight until it is 'my' war. Battles fought for others are useless. I also will not be used, I'm here to get you back to your own world nothing else. I'm not getting atchtted to this. I have no need." I said looking into his eyes.

"I understand, that is completely logical." He nodded and went over to his closet throwing me some clothes. "But you would be dead if it wasn't for me in which makes me your Master, remember that. And since you are infected you no longer belong in this world I would suggest you also remember that." He stated.

I chuckled, "So now the reailty's the dream. So Matrix-y...but of course if you were any body you'd be Mourphus but does that make me Neo I wonder?" I said to myself.

"How many movie references are you going to put in this fan fiction, I believe the Star Wars joke was a bit over edge." Wesker said looking back at me as I dressed.

"Now way! The Star Wars joke was perfect!"I yelled fitting into the black turtle neck and pants perfectly.

"If you say so." Wesker rolled his eyes.

"Okay well...just for the record none of this just happened." I said leaving his room going to get breakfast.

"LUPIN! Your doing your stance all wrong!" I heard Krauser yell in the kitchen.

"Still working on the kitten task force, eh Jack?" I asked walking in.

"Yeah! And Leon's helping me!" Jack yelled happily. Leon was beside him messing with the beret on...Beret's head.

'Seriously he lost all form of sanity...or maybe he's just like this when ever he's not on a mission. That would make sense.' I thought as I opened the ice box and got some milk for cereal.

"But hey." Krauser whispered in my ear making me jump and almost spill milk on him. 'Whats with people and sneaking up on me!' "Boss told me your like him now does that mean your a new comrade?" He asked looking around.

"No, sorry I'm not in his war." I whispered back.

"But Boss said..."

"I don't care what he said." I then got my bowl of cereal and left the kitchen seeing now in the living room Jill next to Chris and Claire next to Jill on the couch and Billy was snuggling with Becca on the love seat. They were all watching Psych and I joined in eating my cereal.

"Awesome I love this show!" I yelled and every one agreed.

After finishing my cereal I felt some one picking me up by the collar of my turtle neck. And of course it was Wesker carrying me away from the group.

"Hey Wes!" I could hear Chris call and Wesker shudder.

"What?" He spat.

"Where ya going with JB?" He asked.

Every one else only stared.

"Places." Was Wesker's answer making me shudder. He opened the door in front of us still carrying me in mid air. He then sat me in his car outside and got in sitting beside me backing out of the drive way.

"Where are we going?" I asked it being a Sunday after all.

"A drive, it seems I must explain to you your situation more thourghly with out interuption." He explained driving down the road.

"Look I'm not one of your minions and you said youself you can't kill me and torture dosen't work. I've been hurting myself a long time and I don't need help with that." I stated folding my arms. "And mind tricks won't work on me as I have no emotions, except the ones that cannot be menipulated."

"Is that so?" Wesker raised an eye brow. He then took his free hand and started trailing it down my leg sending shivers through out my body. "I have read what you wrote about me before, remember. You have quite the dirty fantasies."

'Damn! He found my one weakness...my half fan girl blood!' I thought as I grabbed his hand and smiled. "I can be just as evil as you Wesker. I mite lust but so do you, two cats can play at this game as I am no mouse." I didn't even regret what I did after that proving my point. I took his hand and put it in the middle of my pants and smiled. Wesker grinned.

"You are truly a one in 6 billion person Miss Boyd." He chuckled.

"You better believe it." I smiled.

"But..." Wesker took his hand away. "I was simply planning on demenstrating what you are capable of now." He explained.

"Oh..." I was a little disapointed but whatever.

***Reviewers Corner***

The camera slowly zoomed up on me as I turned in my chair at my desk.

"Good evening and welcome back to Reviewers Corner. I'm your host Jamy Boyd the author and main character in this fan fiction. Tonight I have a few announcements, first of all from now on all RE characters will be on this set so they may answer your questions with out being guests. Secondly, I am sorry about the wait I had been busy for a while and sorry about the edge to the chapter but it will become comidic again soon. Thirdly I am now taking questions for myself, if you wish to ask me anything I will answer. Fourthly I just added a new poll to my profile, I need you guys to vote on what I do next. And thanks to all my readers for making this already a popular fan fiction. Now for the questions." I said the camera zooming out to show Wesker to my left and all the rest of the fanfiction's cast to my right.

"Okay now for the first Review request, its from TheLostSamuriGirl: Oh and for reviewers corner I LOVE CHRIS BACK OFF JILL! *Hugs chris and kisses his cheek*And claire you're awesome!" I then turned to Chris and Jill.

"HE'S MINE!" Jill yelled hissing.

"Cool cat fight." Chris said smiling.

"THANKS!" Claire yelled from the far left.

"Alright." I nodded and threw the paper to the ground. "EcoSeeker says: Thanks for that lovely answer, Wesker! Another hilarious chapter, as usual.  
For the next reviewer's corner, I'd love to know why Krauser was so suspicious of Ada. What made him so paranoid towards her in RE4?' Another interesting question EcoSeeker, now what do you say Jack?" I asked the camera turning to him.

Jack grumbled and folded his arm, " She wouldn't go out with me." He nearly whispered.

"Mmm? Didn't catch that Jack." I said from off screen.

"I thought she was suspicious cause she wouldn't go out with me!" He yelled pouting.

"Figures." I rolled my eyes and Jack started to cry. "Not that any girl wouldn't be happy to have you, I mean just ask Audrey." I said trying to cheer him up.

"AW! Shit I forgot I gotta meet Audrey at the diner! See ya comrade!" Krauser yelled running out of sight. The camera then turned back to me.

"Well...that was...right." I shrugged it off and through the paper off my desk. "Now to Wesker's Servant, 'Reviewers Corner: Wesker thank you soo much for that comment it means soo much to me -bows down to Wesker- You're the greatest RE god I know! Krauser how's the work going with the Kitten Task Force, I'd like to be informed of how their progress is going, Leon just curious how many times has Ashley tried to hit on you on the job? Chris, I really doubt you were depressed throughout that entire mission and do pray that Barry doesn't kill you with his buddy for eating his sandwiches. Also how do you feel about the fanfic pairing with ClairexWesker and ClairexLeon? I'd really like your input on those pairings. For my last thing for Reviewers Corner for now, Wesker...take your shirt off and hold this snake so I can get a good picture of you. -hands Wesker a python.- and don't be afraid to let it coil around you, makes the picture a whole lot better.' Alright since Krauser just left I'll answer his question for him, Lupin can't get his stance right, Wesker's Servant the kitten or Servy keeps clawing Krauser, Beret is just to sweet to train with his huge blue eyes, and Ichigo has learned to handle a sword and keeps fighting the cat, Grimmjow down the street. Okay Wesker?" I asked the camera turning to him.

"Your very welcome Dear Sora, at least when I am in your fan fictions I can keep my sanity unlike working with Boyd here whom is not the least bit sain. And of course I am, I am the only god in my world and it will remain that way." Wesker answered.

I rolled my eyes as the camera turns back to me, "Really Sora I don't know how you work with this guy. I say he's all talk...even in bed." I whispered the last part.

"BOYD!" Wesker yelled off screen.

"Oh hush I'm only joking and you know Mister Panther." I said sarcastically. "Okay now Leon?" The camera then turned to Leon as he was making out with Claire on my couch, 'Mental note clean couch.'

"Oh um...Ashley's only asked me out a few times, since I work in an office building underneath the white house." Leon explained then continued kissing Claire.

"Right...Next question Chris?" I asked as Chris was death glaring Leon.

"Well for one I was depressed and slightly...high." Chris looked around and I could hear Wesker chuckle. "Also Barry's not here right now I'll just make him another sandwhich later. And about Leon and Claire I'm slightly okay with that but the day Claire goes out with Wesker is the day I get drunk, puick, and try and kill him even more." Chris said folding his arms.

"Alright, now for something even I'm gonna enjoy." I smiled as the camera came back to me, I then used my new found speed and ripped Wesker's shirt off and put a python around his neck taking pictures. "Oh Sora you got great taste." I said still taking pictures.

"You could have just asked and I would have taken off my shirt." Wesker stated petting the snakes head.

"Well that wouldn't be as fun." I said smiling. "I'll mail you the pics Sora." I said sitting back down at my desk.

Wesker looked down at the ripped shirt, "I liked that shirt." He whispered.

"Okay now for the next question." The camera turned back to me. "These questions are from Boss-Slayer: Clarie: Did you fall love with Steve or did you even like him like that?  
Wesker: What was a picture of Rebecca doing in your desk in the S.T.A.R.S. office?  
Rebecca: What happened to you after the mansion?  
Jill: What was up with the outfit in Racoon?' Alright Claire?" The camera then turned to her, her being done making out with Leon.

"I did fall in love with Steve, he was so cute and sweet. I wish Alexia didn't get her hands on him." Claire then started to sob and turned to Leon.

"Alright Wesker?" The camera then turned to Wesker a python still on his shoulders.

"Miss Chambers picture was in my desk because...because...I like brunettes with green eyes." Wesker said actualy sweating.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" You could hear Becca screaming off screen.

"Aha! I knew it! That means you like me right? I have brown hair and green eyes." I said the camera still on Wesker. He didn't even answer. "Wesker?"

"Boyd go to the next question." He said coldly.

"Aw! Okay." I whined. "HEY BECCA GET BACK HERE THE NEXT QUESTIONS FOR YOU!" I yelled seeing Becca reappear on my desk.

"Really?" She asked innocently.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Oh...well..um after the mansion I went with Chris to Europe then went to look for Billy." Becca explained.

"Aright now...GET OFF MY DESK!" I yelled sending her running away again. I sighed, "Now Jill." The camera then turned to Jill.

"IT WAS COMFY GOD! You have no idea how many people ask me that." Jill explained holding on to Chris.

"Okay then." The camera turned back to me. "Well thats all we have for now, join us tomorrow when I get to try out my powers and go on a field trip with ALL of the RE cast. Evil villians will appear and make things even harder for me, as if things can't get any worse...they do." I said the camera zooming out.

"OW! Where the hell did this snake come from? It just bit me in the ass!" Chris yelled making Wesker chuckle.

"Thats a good Solid."


	8. Picnic and midget part 1

**Chapter 8: A picnic and midget!**

"Okay I got it...I got it! Opf! OW!" I yelled trying to catch the 1 ton frisbee that was made out of some condensed metal. Of course it ended up hitting me in the face. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU! STOP HITTING ME IN FACE ON PURPOSE!" I yelled at Wesker shaking my fist in the air.

Wesker only smirked and chuckled, "I do not hit you in the face on purpose Miss Boyd, you are simply a horrible catch." He said.

"Am not you big meanie!" I yelled jumping every where in anger.

The last three weeks had been filled with me hurting myself because of my new found strength and ending up in the nurse's office, Rebbeca being my round the clock medic. Billy and Leon pushing me to do better in gym, Jill scolding me cause I suck at math, Chris telling me not to hate the Government, Claire telling me I had a good eye for color but wasn't very good at holding a brush and Barry appearing telling me about 'the birds and the bees' in and out side of Sex-Ed class. But also Saddler, The Ashfords, Salazar, Spencer, Vladmir, Nemisis, and Mendez appeared in those three weeks but disappeared just as quickly. I have no idea where they went but I dare not find out. More of the good guys appeared too like Barry as I mentioned earlier and Brad, Carlos, Luis, HUNK, and Ada. Making the condo complex all the more crowded and making my friends all the more susipcious.

Brad is now Mister Kintok the Home Ec teacher, Ada is the sneaky sexy Vice Princeipal Miss Belle she also teachers an after school acrobatics class, Carlos is Mister John the 'Whatever you do don't work for an evil Pharmacuitical company' teacher not many people take his class, Luis is Mister Sera...ha yeah he got to keep his name and he teaches Spainish not surprising, and last but not least HUNK is the scary 'fix it' guy at the school that dosen't actualy live at the condo.

Also for the last three weeks Wesker has been taking me to an abandon Super Market lot to train me. He's being an ass about it though, he likes to see me in pain...big meanie.

I folded my arms and pouted, "You owe me ice cream for making my head hurt!" I yelled at Wesker as he began to approach me. He chuckled as he sat down beside me.

"Fine I will buy you some ice cream after we are done, but only because your progress astounds me." He said in his normal tone.

"HELLS YEAH! I bet I scare you with my awesome 'OVER 9,000!' powers!" I said laying down fist in the air.

"Scared? Being scared of a young woman who is insain would be illogical and that Dragon Ball Z quote was ridiciulas." Wesker said folding his arms.

"Was not! It fit perfectly." I argued sitting back up.

"You over do things." He stated.

"You under do things and take the fun out of everything." I said looking eye to eye with him.

He chuckled, "I was never much for fun."

"You seem to be having some now." I stated.

Wesker raised an eye brow and rubbed his chin, "Perhaps, you do notice things I do not Miss Boyd that is why I like you but don't let that go to your head. Your still quiet annoying." Wesker said getting up.

"You got that right! Wait...you like me?" I blinked and quickly followed as he got back in the car.

**A day later at school...**

Me, Mary, Audrey, Valery, and Sora sat at our usual lunch table talking about high scores on new games and E3 previews, until the conversation turns to me as I played with my enedible food.

"So there's a rumor going around that a couple of weeks ago you got your but saved by three hunky guys and that your living with them. Care to comment?" Sora asked.

"Um...I...I didn't know them, just got lucky." I stated.

"Liar." Valery said tilting her chair back.

"Okay okay, it was Mister Smith who saved me." I said shrugging.

"You living with Mister Smith!" Mary yelled shocked.

Stares could be felt as I 'shhhhed' Mary.

"No of course not!" I yelled back.

"Oh come on! I've been trying to call you at your house for 4 weeks and your mom keeps telling me that you don't live there any more. Come on, spill the beans." Valery prompted.

"And you have been happier since those 4 weeks started, less lonely even." Audrey pointed out.

'How could I be lonely when thier driving me insain.' I thought. "Look guys I moved out okay and maybe I moved in the same complex as a few of my teachers, so what?" I said calming them down.

"So its just a coinsedence that all these things happened at the same time. First 4 weeks ago you act crazy telling us not to go to lunch cause there's a crazy guy in the hall way, then out of the blue Mister Smith is replaced with a guy that looks like Wesker freaking you out and he asks you to stay after class, then that same night you just happen to move into the same complex as him and a few days later Chris shows up living in the same complex. And now almost every RE charater is a teacher in our school who knows you. Please explain." Audrey said folding her arms.

I started to sweat after that, "Okay." I nodded. "But your gonna think I'm crazy."

"We already think your crazy." Sora added.

After that I explained everything to them, from day 1 to for the me being infected part, thought I'd leave that out. They all understood and remained quite for a minute.

"Sleep over." They all said in unison.

I nearly fell out of my chair when they said that, "ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY! I WANT OUT OF THAT WAR ZONE AND YOU GUYS WANT IN!" I yelled standing up.

"Yep." They all nodded and I nearly fainted.

"NO WAY! You can visit but no sleep overs!" I said sitting back down.

"Agreed."

**8th period Biology...**

"That is all for today class...oh and there is a field trip next week. All of the 10th grade teachers and students well be going to the beach to look over sea creatures and such. An abnormal learning experience, if you ask me." Wesker annouced as he was Mister Smith at the end of class.

The bell then rang and Audrey who I had Biology with waved good bye and I copied her home work before she left now having speed on my side. I smiled evily til Wesker loomed over me.

"Why must you copy Miss Fagan's work when you can do your own, Boyd?" He asked his arms folded.

"Cause I'm lazy." I answered putting my stuff away. "Hey whats with these beach field trip you were talking about?" I asked throwing my bag over my shoulder.

"It seems the princeipal wishes for the 10th grade to have a 'fun' trip before Christmas break." Wesker explained walking to his desk.

'Yikes! That means all of the Resident Evil characters are going to the beach together and I'll be there too...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!' I screamed in my head.

"BOYD!" I heard Wesker yell and I stopped. "That is very annoying." He said.

"What is?" I asked.

"That little screaming noise you made just now." He pointed out that I was in fact both screaming out loud and in my head.

"Opps." I said embarased. "So what does this mean, I still don't have any clothes of my own and defaintly no beach items. Neither does any one else." I stated.

"We will most likely have to go *Insert Wesker shudder here* group shopping." He said.

"Oh dear god, my worst nightmare. Who knows what kind of bathing suit Jill and Rebecca will try and put me in...and Claire...well Claire's cool. Maybe I'll sneak away with her instead. But there is an upside." I said thinking out loud.

Wesker totally had that 'Girls-in-bikini's' look on his face.

"HEY EVIL OVER LORD THAT I WISH HAD CAT EARS! SNAP OUT OF IT!" I yelled.

"Oh yes...wait cat ears?" He asked raising an eye brow.

"Yeah cat ears! Deal with it!" I said folding my arms.

***Reviewer's Corner***

The camera once again zoomed in on me as I sat at my desk.

"Hey guys! And welcome back to Reviewer's Corner. I'm your host Jamy Boyd and the author and star of this fanfiction. Today before we begin I'd like to thank the reader's for making this such a popular parody about 800 people have read this and I'm only to the 8th chapter, your all to kind. I'd also like to thank EcoSeeker:Audrey, Biohazardous Fears: Valery, InuInuLoveLove: Mary, and Wesker's Servant: Sora for being such great supporters. I award you a solid gold trophy of nude Wesker and or Krauser, Leon, and Brad. I hope you like them, I've got one of Wesker on my desk." Camera zooms onto solid gold trophy of detailed Wesker. Wesker then snatches it from my desk and destroys it. "AW!" I yelled and Wesker death glares me.

"Boyd, go to the questions before I decide to leave." He said grinding his teeth.

"Fine." I huffed the camera coming back to me. "To the questions. The first one is from,

Mr. E: Now my questions for reviewer corner. Wesker: I will give you a weapon that will absolutly kill Chris if you sleep with every girl in this fic and RE universe willingly/forcefuly. Chris: If I killed Wesker for you would you sleep with your sister? Jill: did Wesker do naughty things to you when you worked for him in RE 5 (if yes give me the details) that is all here is a cookie *hands everyone a cookie*. Well what do you say Wesker?" I asked staring at him.

Wesker growled then folded his arms, "I would think about it. Although I have to admit the only female standing in my way is Miss Boyd." He said.

"Aw! Your a big meanie! Okay Chris?" The camera then turned to where Chris was sitting.

"NO! Thats gross man!" Chris yelled angerly.

"Alright then, Jill?" I said the camera turning to her.

"Yes and yet no. Wesker made me wear a maid outfit and looked up my tiny skirt then died my hair blone because he wanted me to look more like him. He made me clean, cook, even *Insert Jill shudder* clip his toe nails. Nothing sexual though, strangely." Jill said shrugging.

"Uhhhhhhhh...Wesker thats creepy." I said the camera coming back to me.

"Not as creepy as the things you've made me do in some of your fan fictions Boyd." Wesker said off screen.

"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes then pulled out a sheet of cookies and gave every one one.

"Thank you Mr. E!" Every one except Wesker shouted eating thier cookie.

"Okay back to the questions." I said sliding a paper from my desk. "Alright next sets from Boss-Slayer: Leon: How does it feel to know you sold your soul to the goverment? William Birkin: Are you the good type of crazy (ex. Jamy, Krauser) or just crazy? Krauser: Why is your las plagas form take the shape of a chicken wing? Jill: be sure to not fall in any elaborate traps or plotholes so you don't become a Jill sandwich. Sherry: What plothole did you fall down in? Sheva: why does your giant pixelated butt block the screan?' AW! You think I'm the good type of crazy, how sweet. Okay Leon?" The camera then turned to Leon who was eating one of Chris's sandwhiches.

"I DID NOT!" Leon yelled then looked around crazily and ran off set.

"Right well whatever. Okay BIRKIN!" I yelled sending the camera man who just happened to be William Birkin onto the set.

"Oh um..." Will thought for a second. "I don't know. I wasn't violent and I didn't wanna kill people if thats what you mean. I was just fascinated with my work. Oh and Jamy when am I going to show up in Randomness?" He asked.

"A couple of episodes from now, your gonna surprise Wesker." I informed him pointing to Wesker who was asleep with Servy in his lap.

"Aw! Al's asleep. He's so cute asleep." Will said me giving him a 'What gender are you?' look."Oh I better get back to work." He added getting back behind the camera.

"Okay now to Krauser." The camera then went to Krauser who had Beret, the kitten on his head.

"My Las Plagas does not look like a chicken wing...Does it?" Krauser then formed his Las Plagas arm and Beret started drooling over it and jumped down biting Krauser's arm. "Aw! Beret loves Mister arm!" Krauser yelled.

The camera then turned back to me as I was laughing my ass off falling over in my chair. "No! Hhahahahaha, Go to Jill damn it! Hahahahahahahahaha." I laughed pointing to Jill as I was under my desk.

"WOULD YOU GUYS GIVE THAT STUPID JILL SANDWHICH JOKE A REST GOD!" Jill yelled standing up.

"Okay ahem." The camera then turned back to me. "Sherry?" I asked. The camera then turned to a 15 year old Sherry standing behind the scenes with a head set on.

"Albert Wesker being my god father." She said folding her arms. The camera then came back to me.

"Alright now for Sheva...where is Sheva?" I asked looking around.

"Making out with Josh in the back room." Sherry told me through her head set.

"Oh well I'd say it was because Sheva has a big ass, lets move on." I said throwing another peice of paper from my desk. "Okay this is from EcoSeeker: Why didn't Wesker talk to Sheva or even acknowledge her presence in RE5?' Well Wesker?" I asked the camera going to him Servy still in his lap.

"Miss Almour was not worth my acknowledgement, Miss Fagan. If I acknowledged every operative the BSAA sent after me I would have to many names to remember." Wesker explained and the camera turned back to me.

"Right next question. These are from BioHazardous Fears: Wesker: What is your favorite color, being smart like you are I assume you know that both black and white are not colors so please choose a real color.  
Leon: Good choice!  
Jill: Ok! So I totally get why you wore what you did in Raccoon but, WTF were those shoulder pads at the mansion?  
Chis and Jill: WTF ARE YOU TWO DOING IN THE RESIDENT EVIL REVELATIONS TRAILER? Guns at each other WHAT?  
Billy: Where did you go after you left Rebecca behind?' Nice questions Valery, so Wesker?" The camera then turns to Wesker.

"Red, if I may not choose black it will be red. The color of the fool's blood who tried to defie me." Wesker answered the camera then turning to Leon who now had Claire sitting in his lap, the camera skipped over him to Jill.

"THEY WERE APART OF MY UNIFORM! You wouldn't believe how many people ask me that question too. Whats with people and my wardrobe?" Jill answered.

"O-kay. Now both Chris and Jill." I said from off screen.

"Well to explain that..." Chris started off but was cut off by Jill.

"HE STOLE MY MAKE UP THEN KIDNAPPED SOME RANDOM GUY AND USED MY MAKE UP TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THAT GUY WAS HIS CLONE! THE BASTARD!" Jill yelled punching Chris in the gut.

"O-kay. Again another wierd moment, now Billy." The camera then turned to Billy who had no shirt on and was sweating. 'Whoa weee cowboy, mental note: Billy works out during Reviewer's Corner.'

"I went back to Boston where a friend of mine lived and ducked out there." Billy explained then the camera came back to me.

"Boyd, your drooling." Wesker said in a cold scoffing manner.

"What? You jeaulos because your not as rugad as Billy?" I asked Wesker.

"Not at all." Wesker shook his head.

"I bet your still jeaulos of Snake." I said smiling.

"Why would I? Both I and Mister Solid Snake got killed off of our own game at the same time. Truly we are more of kindred spirits than enemies or Yoai lovers as most make us out to be. He's the only quite drunk I know, unlike Mister Krauser." Wesker stated wipping the smile off my face.

I mumbled, "Okay to the next questions. These are from Krolton DarkHeart: Wesker, if you could have any girl in this fic or RE universe as a girlfriend/wife who would it be? And Claire who would you like to sleep with (Leon, Steve,or Wesker)?' Okay Wesker?" I asked turning to him.

"If it was any from this fan fiction I'd have to say Miss Valentine." Wesker stated coldly.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" You could hear Jill scream in terror and faint.

"O...kay. Claire?" The camera then turned to Claire who was drooling over sweating Billy while Leon sulked on the couch.

"Oh...um." She turned to the camera. "Steve..defaintly Steve." She said then went back to Billy.

"WHOOO HOOO!" You could hear Steve yell from an echo in the room.

"Why does no one stay dead in this world?" I asked the camera turning back to me.

"Fan base I suppose." Luis said while eating an apple and going by the camera.

"Shesh, okay now for Wesker's Servant: Wesker I do my utmost best to make sure you stay in complete character in my fanfictions, if I find that I strayed from your magnificent persona I would do everything in my power to fix it...Oh god, you read my fanfictions -covers face- Such holy eyes on my work!' Is her remark to you Wesker." I said slightly rolling my eyes.

"Thank you dear Sora, but believe me the pleasures all mine." Wesker stated looking into the camera.

"Oh get over yourself and stop flirting." I said the camera coming back to me. Next one from Wesker's Servant: Chris...what exactly were you high on? I'm pretty sure that BSAA members aren't supposed to get high before or after a mission.' Well Chris?" The camera then turned to him.

"Uh...What the BSAA dosen't know won't hurt them." Chris remarked the camera coming back to me.

"Right. 'Krauser, keep up the work with the kitten task force, they will be worthy of guarding the holy Albert Wesker! And Wesker sorry for your shirt, I'd like to give this one to you -gives him a new black shirt- please accept this gift and you can also keep the python.'" After that I get up and give Wesker the shirt Wesker's Servant mailed me. "Happy now you show off?" I said sitting back down at my desk.

"Yes, very." He purred.

"And don't worry Sora, Krauser is working really hard with the kittens. Beret is showing the best results and so is Servy but I think Ichigo has lost his mind and Lupin keeps chasing after another cat named Fujiko. Now next question: 'Rebecca, did anyone really believe you when you reported Billy Coen dead?'" The camera then turns to Becca who is sitting by mostly nude Billy.

"Yes of course." She drills out while drooling.

"'Billy, did you have a girlfriend before you were taken to be executed for killing 23 people?'" The camera then turns to Billy.

"Yeah several, and I did not kill those guys! They were zombies I swear!" Billy yelled the camera coming back to me.

"We believe you Billy." I said. "'Jill I was wondering how you're able to stand Chris and his incompetence, I know he's pretty much an idiot but how did someone like you get stuck with him?'" The camera then turns to Chris and Jill.

"HEY!" Chris yells.

"Yeah I know but believe it or not he's good in bed." Jill answered shrugging. The camera then came back to me.

"'Leon how often does Ashely ask you out and what is your immediate response? Do you let her down easy or just straight up tell her no?'" The camera then turns back to Leon.

"About 5 times a week and just straight up no before she even asks. But thanks to my job on this fan fiction I haven't seen her in forever." Leon answered then the camera came back to me.

"Well thats all of Wesker's Servant's questions. Oh and I got the cat toys. Thanks they love'em! Okay now to InuInuLoveLove's questions. 'Krauser,after my other reviews,are you afraid of me?*waits for response*Hm..okay,well,how DID you survive kidnapping Ashely?' Krauser?" I said the camera turning to Krauser.

"Um...no." He shook his head. "I gagged her and sedated her constintly...which in turn made her pee her pants." Krauser shrugged.

"I wonder where he learned that?" I said sarcastically staring at Wesker. "Right next question:Jamy:Um...what do you want me to do with these?*holds up weskers boxers and Krauser cookie* These have just been sitting by my bed,and I found them ,if Wesker and Krauser hear this...she gave them to me!' Sell them on Ebay or something." I said shrugging getting death glares from Wesker and Krauser.

"MY COOKIE! I wondered where that went!" Krauser yelled.

"When did you have the time to steal my boxers?" Wesker asked coldly yet curious.

"NEXT QUESTION! 'Claire,what did you think when you met Alfred? Watch what you say,though...I like ,I'm also kinda mad that you made out with Leon.  
Leon!*glomps*' Claire?" The camera then turned to Claire as Leon is glomped.

"MY LEON! And I thought HE WAS TRYING TO KILL ME!" Claire yelled grabbing hold of Leon.

"O-kay." I nodded and the camera stared. "OVER HERE BIRKIN!" I yelled and the camera came back to me. "'Wesker,I hate you so thought you should know.  
Jill!*attacks* Why didn't you save Brad?I thought you were COOL!' Wesker, Jill?" First the camera turns to Wesker.

He shruggs, "Every ones a critic." Then it turns to Jill.

"I TRIED! Nemisis is scary man!" Jill yells sending the camera back to me.

"'Chris,Sheva or Jill?'" I said and the camera turned to Chris. 

"Can't I have both?" Chris asks which in turn gets him beat up by Jill.

"O-kay while Jill's beating Chris' pimp ass up lets go to the next question. 'Rebecca,I look up to you so much.*salutes*Think you for training Mary under you.  
Billy, I want to shake your hand 'cuz you are awesome!Not like Leon or Alfred, but still.I also look up to you.  
Oh yes!C-c-c-can Mary throw a boot at Wesker?' Becca, Billy?" I asked the camera turning to them.

"Your welcome." Becca giggled.

"Thanks, and sure." Billy replied.

The camera then turns back to me, "And yes Mary be my guest." I smiled.

"I do not see how she could..." Wesker was cut off by the camera's zooming out.

"Well thats all the time we have tonight, join us tomorrow for a trip to the beach. Oh and BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I said throwing a boot at Wesker head and running away at the same time as the camera zoomed slowly out.

**(Also if any one as any idea's for this fan fiction I'm taking requests and ideas.)**


	9. Picnic and midget part 2

**Chapter 8: A picnic and a midget, part 2**

It was dark and stormy, the halls were empty in the old mansion but the living room was full. A fire was going and a meeting of the worst kind was taking place in the dimly lit room.

The Ashford twins sat side by side on a love seat, Spencer sat in his comfy wheel chair, Nemisis stood with his arms folded, the old russian Sergei Valdmir sat in an old recliner, Osmund Saddler sat on the couch with his cane and Mendez stood behind him while Salazar sat beside him.

This group of creepy crawly villians, who still had all thier powers, decided to form an alliance against all the main or goody two shoes characters of Resident Evil. They all had the same knowledge as Wesker and every one else and decided to take fate into thier own hands.

"I wanted that right...to be a god." Spencer mumbled.

"I just wanted some money and to kill the president. Is that so much to ask?" Saddler said shrugging.

"Of course not my lord." Both Mendez and Salazar said in unison.

"You do not deserve the power!" Alexia shouted her brother calming her down.

"S.T.A.R.S." Nemisis said then got out his translater (Thanks to Mr. E). "Should we not work together and try and punish our enemies." He said his words coming through the translater.

Every one was stunned by how smart Nemisis sounded.

"I agree with the big guy." Vladmir said in his russian accent patting Nemisis on the back.

"But how shall we punish our enemies?" Spencer pondered.

"Perhaps we should kidnap the one thing that will allow them to get back to our world. Then we shall rule and they shall drool...or ahem we will be the rulers of our world with them stranded here." Nemisis said rubbing his head still drooling.

"Are you suggesting we kidnap the girl?" Salazar asked staring at Nemisis.

"Yes...yes." Spencer nodded rubbing his chin. "The girl is the one who brought us here and the only one who can take us back. Albert has also become fond of her...yes that will work perfectly."

"Do you think this is a good idea dear sister?" Alfred asked watching his sister now pace about the room.

"Yes, that will do." Alexia nodded in agreement.

"Its settled then we will kidnap the girl and leave those fools stranded here." Saddler said a smile across his face.

"I'll begin making preperations then." Vladmir said looking through his pockets to find a vial with blue liquid in it.

"Yes, Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Spencer began to laugh and every one joined in with him.

"!"

**Back in my room...**

"Ah!" I awoke from a nightmare where I could hear people laugh evily. It was SOOOOO TAKY! "Dang gotta stop eating evil Cherios." I said before I went back to sleep. Little did I know that soon things were gonna get worse.

**A few hours later, The day before the field trip...**

"BOYD!" I heard Wesker yell waking me from my nap on the couch.

"Uh...yeah what is it?" I asked half asleep.

"We must leave to gather...things for the 'trip' tomorrow." He said grabbing me by the collar carrying me to the car where every one else was.

"I have legs you know and not normal legs, SUPER legs!" I yelled.

"Yes I know but you tend to talk more when you walk." Wesker replied.

"Yeah whatever." I rolled my eyes as he sat me beside him, 'shotgun' style.

"HEY! I WANTED TO RIDE SHOTGUN!" I heard Chris yell.

Wesker only shuddered at the thought of Chris sitting beside him let alone shopping with the man.

Since I knew Wesker was going to be silent I plugged in my Ipod and started listening to 'The Letter Black' Fire with Fire. I started humming along with the song as I looked out the window then slowly started to sing along with it.

"Fire with Fire, Fire with Fire.

You had to open up that door  
It's never gonna be the way it was before  
So what do we fight for  
Do we always have to even up that score

I don't know where we went wrong  
I don't know where we belong  
Tell me why we are so lost  
Will we decide which side we're on."

I sang quietly until we arrived at the Super Market.

We all got out and walked together as a group getting ALOT of stares. 'Thank god Audrey, Sora, Mary, and Valery aren't here or I'd die.' I thought as we entered the store.

"Refields Valentine! You three will gather your own things and required beach items. Kennedy Krauser! You will get needed snacks. Wong! You'll gather needed sunglasses! Alot of them! Coen Chambers! You'll gather blankets and needed sleeping equiptment. Burton Oliveria Sera! You'll gather anything else we mite need. Now go!" Wesker ordered as if he was still the Stars Captain, and every one followed his orders as if he was still the Stars Captain.

"Um what about me?" I asked standing beside him. I felt as if I was a 5 year old asking her very tall father for something, 'Irony'.

"You and I will gather the things we need...together." Wesker whispered the last word and began walking.

"Wait! Does that mean I have to find a bathing suit with you!" I yelled folding my arms.

"...Yes." Wesker actualy shrugged indecating he didn't care.

"Wonderful." I whispered keeping up with him.

**A few minutes later in the clothes section of the Super Market / Mall...**

"WIIIIIII!" You could hear Krauser and Kennedy push each other on a cart, yelling as they zoomed by at an impressive speed.

"HEY! You should wear these!" I yelled holding up a swim suit to Wesker.

"I will NOT wear speedos." He said glaring at me.

"AW!" I yelled pouting. "Fine how about these?" I asked holding up a black pair of swim trunks.

"Mmmm?" Wesker took them from my hand and nodded. "These will do."

"Yeah!" I yelled feeling a sugar high, running around in circles. I then felt Wesker pick me up by my head.

"Are you alright Boyd?" He asked a little wierded out by my actions.

"No...I feel funny. I think I mite should have not had tried Chris' coffee this morning." I said looking at Wesker as he sighed and put me down.

"That explains it. Christopher always puts an absurd amount of sugar in his coffee." Wesker explained.

"Oh...okay." I nodded and felt like glomping Wesker but fought back the sugar rush fan girl urge. "Hey Wesker." I said pulling on his long jacket.

"Yes?" He asked turning back to me.

"Since I picked out your swim suit you pick out mine." I said smiling innocently.

"..._."

'WoW! Wesker just did an emoticon! COOL!' I thought my head spinning.

"Fine." He replied looking through the woman's swim wear. "Here." He then handed me a leapord print two peice.

"...!" I looked it over with my enlarged eyes and ran to the fitting room. It squeezed my boobs badly but still fit. Luckily since I was infected I lost the small gut I once had and it was replaced by tiny abbs. I walked out slowly and was ogle attacked by Leon,Chris,Jack,Brad,HUNK,Barry,Billy, and Carlos. I didn't even know HUNK was there, but I wasn't ogled by the one guy I wanted to get ogled by. "YOU GUYS! STOP STARING OR I'M GONNA KICK ALL YOUR ASSES!" I yelled scaring them all away like puppies. I sighed then took off the swim suit and decided to buy it. After a little more lone time clothes shopping I waited at the door for the rest of the gang.

"Boyd!" I heard Wesker yell. I turned to him and he looked pissed. "Where did Valentine and Redfield go?" He asked folding his arms.

"Depends, are you going to kill them?" I asked putting my hands on my hips.

"Yes! I'm going to kill them! Just as you were about to show me what you looked like in leapord print they shoved me off to find soda and chips! Then every other guy got to ogle you BUT ME!" Wesker yelled looking around.

"AW! You did want to ogle me!" I yelled not being able to contain myself. I jumped on him and held his neck.

"Boyd?" Wesker rose an eye brow as I was still attachted to his neck.

"I'm still on a sugar high so don't blame me for this later." I whispered as I jumped off of him. "They went that way!" I pointed to where Jill and Chris was.

Wesker nodded and I could see he was slightly blushing as he ran away. I raised an eye brow that time. "If he's going soft I'm kicking his ass." I said folding my arms.

**BEACH TIME! YEAH!...**

"You sure?" Jill asked.

"YES GOD JILL HE WON'T RAPE ME!" I yelled as I was changing in the beach bathroom. "Although this upper peice mite." I said coming out taking my glasses off and letting my wet washed hair down.

"Are you sure?" Jill asked looking me up and down.

"YES! He dosen't think of me that way. And besides if he did it wouldn't be rape, I'd let him." I said adjusting the upper peice again.

"O-Kay." Jill raised her hands in defeat. "Its your choice." She said walking away in her blue bikini. Rebecca wore a green bikini, Ada sported a purple red thong like swim suit, and Claire wore her signature vest along with a red bikini. All the guys just wore normal swim trunks except for Carlos and Luis who wore bannana hamacks. 'Yikes those two are scary.' After Jill left I looked at myself in the mirror. "I know why he doesn't look at me like that, cause I'm not the least bit attractive." I said feeling depressed.

"HOLY CRAP!" I heard Mary yell from behind me.

Sora,Mary,Valery, and Audrey all starred.

"Nice." Sora crossed her arms and nodded.

"Its a little too small don't you think?" Mary asked.

"Nah just tight fitting." Valery said.

"Mmmmm?" Audrey just tilted her head and rubbed her chin.

"You guys! I feel violated!" I yelled covering myself.

"You should every main RE guy is outside waiting for you. Oh and by the way KRAUSER!" Audrey said.

"BRAD!" Mary yelled raising her hand.

"HUNK! OH SO HUNK!" Valery added raising her hand too.

"You can have Wesker if you want Sora." I said knowing she wanted him.

"Nah thats okay, I'll take Leon this time around." Sora said fairly.

"Okay, thanks." I nodded.

"Any time friend, any time." Sora said smiling.

"Okay lets go!" Mary said jumping up and down.

"Yeah I wanna swim then secertly take HUNK's trunks off while under water." Valery stated putting her hands on her hips.

"Sounds fun." I said nodding.

After that the 5 of us walked outside where all of the guys from RE who were gonna ogle me had been beat up. I heard Valery pop her knukles and I turned to the 4 of my friends.

"What? We took care of them." Valery smiled.

"Aw! You guys!" I said hugging them.

After we had our moment we went down to the beach to see Jill, Becca, Claire, and Ada sun bathing and getting ogled by high school guys. Chris was being protective of his girlfriend and little sister, so instead of swimming he was building a sand castle.

"Okay Team Omega! Lets split up and cover more ground that way! Okay go!" I said sending Mary running torwards Brad who was splashing in the water til she tackled him to the ground, Audrey to Krauser who was trying to build a sand castle too along with Leon and Sora.

I looked around trying to find Wesker, 'Where could he be?' I asked myself looking around. "I know!" I said running back to the guys changing room. I looked around and saw there was a guy undressing and a guy in the bathroom, I waited for the other guy to finish and walk out before I walked in. "Wesker? Whay are you hiding in the bathroom?" I asked knowing it was him.

"I was waiting for that other man to leave. I thought he mite have been..." Wesker couldn't say it.

"Gay?" I asked folding my arms.

"Yes. He was...checking me out." Wesker explained as he walked out of the bathroom stall, wearing his black swimming trunks and sunglasses.

"Okay I guess I gave you a fear of gay guys since I told you about Yoai's right." I said knowing it was true.

"Yes." Wesker nodded and looked at me up and down. "You look rather...nice in leapord print." He said grinning slightly.

"Nice? Why not sexy?" I asked.

"You are only 15." He stated.

"Becca's only 16." I said getting angry.

"Mmmmm, yes that is true." Wesker said thinking looking down rubbing his chin. "Alright."

"Alright what?" I was getting peeved now.

"You are sexy in leapord print." He said folding his arms.

'Oh yeah! Score one!' I thought smiling. "Thanks."

"Your welcome." He said now ushering me out of the men's changing room.

"Hey?" I asked Wesker as we walked down to the beach.

"What?" He asked his muscular arms folded behind his full muscle chest.

'Tasty.' I thought licking my lips. I looked back up to him smiling. "Wanna go destroy Chris' sand castle?"

"Yes..yes I do."

**A few hours later after fun in the sun...**

It started to rain. It was pouring by the time all of our group, not including any of the school just RE and my friends, got to shelter in our beach cabin.

"Its raining in here!" Krauser yelled, Audrey holding on to him which he didn't mind.

"No Krauser its raining out there." Audrey corrected him.

"Its raining in here, its raining out there, its raining every where." I randomly sung making every one give me an evil glare. "What?" I asked.

Every one sighed and shook thier heads.

"Alright so now what?" Sora asked shivering and holding onto Leon, getting death glares from Claire and Ada.

"Lets tell scary stories!" Krauser yelled.

"Sounds good to me." Chris agreed.

"I'll order the pizza!" Leon yelled.

Wesker sighed as he sat on the couch and every one fanned out to prepare to tell scary stories."Hey Evil Over Lord? You don't like scary stories?" I asked sitting beside him.

"Yes, but I forgot my 'Evil Sunglasses' back at the condo." He pouted.

'Aw! Its so cute when he pouts!' I thought shaking my head.

*Ding Dong*

The door bell rang and I got up and got it. When I opened the door Mister Merchant was standing there.

"Watch'ya buy'in?" He asked opening his jacket that held pizza boxes and soda.

"Um, three things of cheese and 4 of peperoni. But uh? Mister Merchant what are you doing here?" I asked and he handed me what I ordered.

"Mak'in a cameo stranger." After that he disappered like a ninja!

"Cool!" I said taking the pizza's inside where they disappeared from my hands. "Darn pizza thieves!" I yelled.

**A few hours later after a few scary stories...**

"And thats when the man with a hook decided to ...clean his hook!" Becca finished only making Krauser gasp.

"Not to be rude princesses but you suck at telling scary stories." Billy said cuddling Becca.

"I know." She replied.

During that time while the lights were out every one had some one to cuddle with, except me and Wesker. Neither one of us would talk to each other knowing where it would lead.

"Hey guys I'm going outside." I announced standing up. Only a few acknowledged I said anything and I left going outside to the porch. "I'm so lonely." I said leaning on the porch looking up at the full moon.

"Lonely eh? Hehehehehehehehe, we'll change that." I heard a high pitched voice say.

'Salazar?' I turned around only to be greeted my Nemisis who put me in a death grip and covered my mouth as I screamed.

"Shhhh, we can't have any one hearing you can we?Hehehehehe." I then saw Salazar as Nemisis turned around holding me. "Knock her out." He ordered making me go nuts before I felt pain in my temple and the world went dark.

***Reviewers Corner***

_"Sorry I cannot host Reviewers Corner right now because I have been kidnapped, sorry please leave your old and new questions at the beep...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!"_


	10. GASP! Kidnapped!

***Reviewers Corner***

The camera shows me in my chair behind my desk looking at it with blood shot eyes as it zoomed in.

"Sorry viewers this is a speacial Reviewers Corner since I was kidnapped and couldn't do one last episode. Also I'm having a bit of writers block as of lately, I get my best idea's while I'm bored at school and seeing as its still Summer I'm a bit off balance and have had Insomnia for the past three weeks...seriously...insomnia. I am taking story suggestions and plot idea's, I am also taking requests, but if your request is in a genere I can not write I will aplogise ahead of time. Plus I want to thank you guys for reading, some of my stories are just spur of the moment crap but you read them any way, thanks it spikes my low self estem and confedence when people like even my crapiest stuff. I'm told my orginal stories are the best, also sorry for the pity party...ON TO THE QUESTIONS! WAIT! One more thing before I forget which I nearly did...THANK YOU GUYS WHO WANTED TO RESCUE ME! I LOVES YOU! And Krolton Darkheart, I gives you a pair of my speacial undies for calling me cute! Thwank U! If you like curly haired brunnettes with emerald green eyes and black cute glasses that are video game masters and are pretty small (Except for boobs...which really I don't like...I CAN'T BE A NINJA WITH BIG BOOBS! IT DOSEN'T WORK!) I'm your gal. Now to questions!" I explained sitting in my desk.

"Okay...ahem!" I yelled getting every one to wake up on set, including the sleeping Wesker with drool going down the side of his face, 'Every Wesker fan girl go AWWWW!' "Wesker first questions for you from Biohazardous Fears: Which girl do you want to see in a bikini?"

The camera then turned to Wesker as he wipped the drool off his face, " Mmmmm?" Wesker then made round circles with his hands. "B...D...B...A...B." He mumbled.

"WESKER!" I yelled snapping him out of his trance.

"Boyd, she has the largest boobs on set...and I like boobs." Wesker stated shrugging.

"UHHHHHHHH." I turned my head and was really creeped out. "One thing I didn't know about Wesker." I mumbled the camera coming back to me as I threw a peice of paper over my shoulder." Next question's from Mr. E: 'Chris, I'm kinda dissapointed that you would pass up the chance to kill Wesker. Claire, would you ever sleep with Jill and Rebecca for a million dollars? Hope to see more here are some cookies *hands everyone cookies haped like the umbrella logo*' THANK YOU!" I said while munching on my cookie. "Well?" I asked the camera turning to Claire.

"EH! No! Becca and Jill are like sisters to me!" Claire yelled sending the camera back to me.

"Well there you go Mr.E, and Nemisis thanks you for the translater. Now more question's from Krolton DarkHeart: 'Chris: if you walked into your sisters room and found her having sex with Leon, Steve and Wesker (willingly not forcefully) what would you do? Krauser: If your Russian why did you work for the United States government? Ashley: Why do you hit on Leon so much?' Well?" The camera then turns to Chris.

"She's having a threesy? I don't know to either be proud or beat the hell out of every guy in her room. I'll think about it." Chris stated the camera showing a gasping Claire behind him. Then the camera turns to Krauser with Beret, the kitten on his head nibbling on his chicken wing Las Plagas arm.

" I was born in Russia raised in America." He pointed out. "And I wanted to be a Marine cause I thought they were COOL! But I ended up being Military Speacial Ops instead. But their cool too! Just ask Jamy she was one too!" Krauser explains the camera quickly turning back to me.

"NO COMMENT!" I yelled sending the camera to Ashley who was behind the camera man, Birkin.

"Cause he's HOT and saved my life." She pouted then Birkin or the camera man came back to me throwing paper balls at Wesker who was asleep again.

"Okay next questions are from InuInuLoveLove: 'Krauser:Here,cookie!*hands over cookie*I was planning on giving it back soon,because I didn't want to eat it...Also,thanks for answering!I feel sorry for you still.

Wesker:As much as I hate you,I'm keeping the boxers,because I just got an idea!*cough*risky business dance*cough*

Claire:I can see why...and sorry,I was fan-girling like crazy,because I have a new fandom*hetalia* and when I get a new fandom,I freak out the other ones I ?

Leon:Yeah,sorry too...you and Claire,go,make-out some in front of Steve and/or Ashely...if you guys do,I wish you luck...

Ada,why a red-ish dress in a bland country-side with almost NO color?Were you TRYING to get attention?

Chris,no you cannot.I suggest Jill,because with THAT figure,you might catch something.

Jill,I see your ,maybe you should of thrown something at Nemesis,then while he's coming at you,have Brad run away,then you run away.

Barry...Sex Ed?Why?

Brad,If you met a girl named Mary,who popped up a lot,and was fourteen,after a while,if she's nice to you,would you start liking her? If so,how would you feel if you met her one day?*waits for response with pen and paper*

Jamy,is the Brad statue for...If so,I think it would be better to give it to Mary...I don't wanna get in trouble with another character from something I like.*blushes* 

Rebecca,Billy:Thanks guys!And to tell the truth,you guys are favorite resident evil couple!Even if people keep making jokes about Rebecca being jail-bait...*shake head slowly*I guess every fan is a different type of me,I dissaprove of those jokes!Besides,Billy isn't the pedophile...*eyes dart to Wesker,then back to Rebecca and Billy*But,ya know,that's just any other character I maybe some of-*rambles on*

To everyone I've pissed off already:I'm very sorry!I love you all and didn't mean to do that!Wait,I mean everyone except Nemesis.'

Yikes that was a mouthfull this time, getting curious are we? MMMMMMM?" I lean closer to the camera then sit back down. "Okay first up, Krauser...Krauser..KRAUSER!" I looked around the set only to see on the video feed in front of me Krauser left to let Beret go pee. "Okay Claire then since Wesker's still taking his nap, which if I wake him he'll kill every one." The camera then turns to Claire.

"Its okay I get questions like that all the time, but sure we can be friends...if I ever see you physically." She replied, the camera then went to Ada.

"Yes, I was trying to get attention." Ada nodded then the 'Laughing man' face came up on her, cause I wanted it to do that.

"Worst female spy ever." I whispered shaking my head off screen. The camera then went to Barry as a few other cast members were either missing or not on set...sworry.

"I didn't pick it." He shruggs eating a sandwhich. The camera then goes to Brad whos blushing looking at a picture of Mary from his desk.

"Guess that answers your question uh? Well lets not disturb the mans love gaze." I said off screen the camera coming back to me. "Yes it was for you but the next time I see Mary I'll give it to her." I answered the camera now going to Billy and Becca, who were making out on the snack table. 'Aw! My snacks!' I thought. "Well to our next question asker, Wesker's Servant: 'William, why didn't you and Annette pay more attention to Sherry, she's your daughter for crying out loud! Was your work really that important that you had to neglect her? ' Will?" The camera then turned to the man behind it.

"I know I was a horrible father but I protected Sherry till the very end...right up till I turned into a monster and wanted to reproduce with her...uhhhh yeah." Will then turned the camera back to me and I shook my head.

"'Sherry, do you and Wesker get along at all, I've heard that he's your god-father so what's the relationship between you?' Sherr?" The camera then turned to Sherry who was back stage reading something.

She looked up and sighed, "He sent me to a really nice private school, so I guess he's cool in my book, although the fact he was planning on demonating the world while I was gone was a bit wierd." She said then continued reading as the camera turned back to me.

"Well were all a little wierd, but I'm a ...*cough*. Any way next question, 'Krauser, I don't see how you didn't kill Ashley when you kidnapped her even I would be tempted to murder her, but I do admire your self-control.' Uh, well Sora if Krauser was still in the room he'd thank you and say he got REAL close to killling her on several ocassions. 'Wesker I'm just going to say that you're awesome stay awesome and I will be trying to make another oneshot but due to lack of inspiration and ideas along with a bf constantly telling me that Capcom killed you off and you'll never appear again. But I believe that you'll rise again like the god you are!' If Wesker was awake I'm pretty sure he'd say, Thank you my dear Sora and I plan on killing those Capcom fools for killing me off, or something like that." I said trying to mimick Wesker's voice. " 'Leon, when fighting William which form did you have the most difficulty with? In my opinion the hardest form to deal with was form 2 or 3 I can't remember which but either way they were frustrating to deal with.' Well Leo?" I asked the camera turning to him.

"I agree that the 2 and 3 form were the hardest cause they crawled around on the wall and crap." Leon explained sitting back in his chair.

"Right, thanks Leo. Next 'Claire why didn't you go back for Sherry after Raccoon? She waited for you to come back for her but you didn't show up what's with that?' Well Claire?" The camera then turned to Claire who was staring at Leon.

"Um...well, my top priority at the moment was to find my brother, and I THOUGHT Mister Rookie Cop could take care of her but I was mistaken." Claire answered now death glaring Leon.

"What?" Leon shrugged and the camera turned back to me.

"'Rebecca how come you didn't put up much of a fight against that Hunter in the Arklay Mansion, I found it kinda pathetic yet funny that you cowarded against a wall while the Hunter was getting ready to kill you.'" The camera then turned to Billy and Becca who were done making out on the snack table.

"I was scared." Becca complained folding her arms.

"'Billy when you were on the train how did you react to Dr. James Marcus' singing, was it good? Bad? Or not worthy mentioning?'" I said of screen as the camera turned to Billy.

"I thought he was a pretty good singer." Billy replied shrugging.

"'Jill when you met Carlos what was your first impression of him besides him being a mercenary for Umbrella and did you notice something wrong with your battlesuit in RE 5 cause I seen something and felt like asking you about it.'" I said the camera turning to Jill.

"I thought he was...impressive, and no I didn't notice anything, why?" Jill replied the camera coming back to me.

"'Chris, sooner or later the BSAA will know of you getting high and will fire you even though you're one of the founders just you wait and see about it.

Well that's all for now and Wesker -gives a plate of cookies- I just got done baking cookies for you. I had some extra time on my hands and decided to make you these, I hope you like them =3 . And Jamy here's some for you too! -give you a plate of cookie- feel free to share or keep them to yourself. Bye!' Hahahaha! Chris your SOOO busted!" I said then turned to Wesker and threw my shoe at him. "HEY WESKER! BOOT TO THE HEAD! WAKE YOUR ASS UP!" I yelled him jolting awake to see the cookies then devour them and fall back asleep. "Ou Vai, Well I decide these cookies ARE MINE!" I yelled hogging the cookies then throwing a peice of paper from my desk. "I like cookies." I mumbled getting a new peice of paper. " These next questions are from Boss-Slayer: 'Brad: You sir are the best R.E. character and the most realistic. Your better than Chris, Leon, and Ark combined.

Jill: But... But...*sniffle* I love the Jill sandwich line.

Leon: You can't run from truth. You're a lapdog of the government.

Steve: I... I don't get it. If you turned into a giant monster with BULGING biceps how did you die from getting pushed?

Chris&Sheva: How did you sirvive in the volcano?' Okay Brad...Brad! BRAD!." I sigh as I watch Brad stare at Mary's picture. "Okay, Jill?" The camera then turns to Jill as she is red in the face and turns back to me. "Yikes, Leon...LEON!" I yelled seeing Leon and a fan girl, who will remain nameless, making out. "God what happened to this set? Steve?" The camera then turned up where Steve was sitting in the rafters.

"Uh hu." Steve shrugged. "I didn't write the script." He said sending the camera over to Chris, since Sheva was STILL making out with Josh.

"Dito." Chris said shrugging sending the camera back to me.

"Oi Vay." I shook my head. "Thank god I'm not jewish or that saying would be redundant...I think. I have no idea...I'm not jewish." I shrugged and threw a paper over my shoulder. "Next is The Shadow Tyrant: 'Krauser,what made you want to make a kitten task force? Sheva, did you want to do naughty things to Chris? Wesker, what was your thoughts on RE 5 ending? Ashley, how about you forget about Leon and go for a real man*points to self*?' Krauser would answer that question by saying, I LOVE KITTENS! And Sheva would say yes, she's secertly a really naughty girl... I didn't just say that. And Wesker already answered that question, do we need a flash back? If so please tell me. Lets just not do the whole, flash back of what we just did 5 seconds ago, Naruto thing...K. Ashely?" I said then the camera turned to Ashley.

"Um...okay." She nodded and the camera came back to me shrugging.

"Go get her tiger." I laughed and threw another paper away. " And yes Pandora Chambers, HIT IT BILLY!" I yelled sending the camera to a mostly nude Billy with a water fall coming down on him like Jackson. '5...4...3...2...1.' "Okay ogling times up next questions from, Wesker's Servant: 'Merchant, where did you go after RE4? I missed you when RE5 happened, I was quite disappointed that you weren't in it. Wesker... you looked extremely hot in swim trunks and I feel sorry that a gay guy was checking you out. Alexia, did you know your brother dresses as you and puts on your persona? Alfred, why is your laugh so skin-crawling and ANNOYING!' Okay Mister Merchant?" I asked sending the camera to the Chocolate fountain off screen where the Merchant was talking to Drebin (Tell me if you get that joke).

"Hehehehe, Stranger. Capcom couldn't pay my fee so I left, but hopes for number 7." He says then goes back to Drebin. (COME ON! Please tell me you get that! Drebin and Merchant are basically the same person from different games, except the bald monkey with shiny underwear, WHO STOLE MY LAST SMOKE!)

"Any way!" The camera turns back to me. "Wesker's STILL asleep and I will not allow people who kidnapped me to come on my set! So our next questions.." I throw a paper over my shoulder. "Is from The T-Plaga: 'Excella "were you trying to sleep with wesker in RE 5?" Claire "how terrified were you when you saw Birkin in his G form?" Wesker "WHY IN THE F***ING HELL DO YOU WEAR F***ING SUNGLASSES INDOORS? *coughs* sorry for the out burst I didn't have my coffee today" Jill "why do you fall for easy-to-spot traps? do you want to become a Jill sandwhich?' Okay also I don't allow people I or Wesker don't like on set and yes she was, Claire?" The camera then turns to Claire.

"Like piss my pants terrified." She explained.

The camera then turned back to me, "Wesker would explain that his red eyes are light sensative and any form of light hurts his eyes and thats why he wears his sunglasses...even in the shower sometimes. And Jill...Jill..Jill just passed out from anger..sorry guys." I explained throwing another paper over my shoulder. "Okay Krolton Darkheart as I explained ealier Wesker's asleep and don't allow enemies on my set but I promise next Reviewers Corner I'll ask Wesker your question and HELLS YEAH I'd flash Wesker for a Mill! Okay Mr. E...you what? Found pictures of me, Becca, Jill, Claire, and Ada showering in Wesker desk. Hold on one second." I said while I moved from the camera. "BOOT TO THE HEAD! BOOT TO THE HEAD! BOOT TO THE HEAD! BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I then appeared again with my shoe in hand. "Next, thank you Mr.E for the Ivan's I will put them to good use in the next chapter. 'Claire: if you had a choice in either haveing sex with a Hunter or a Licker which would you choose?' Claire?" The camera then turned to Claire.

"A Hunter..cause I don't like tongue." She replied in a disgusted tone.

"Okay then." The camera turns back to me. "Thats all for now fans! Thanks for reading and sorry about the lack of participation this chapter. See ya!" I waved goodbye and blew a kiss as the camera zoomed out.

"AHHHH! PAPER CUT!"


	11. No! Anything but that!

**(Who SHAW! I'm back baby! *Fist pumps* And you know it! Yeah I know I've been gone for a while but hey its that time a year again, ya know when suicide rates go up. Yeah thats right school. But any who the whole point is I'm a better writer now but my brain isn't as high as much as it used to be. So if I'm a bit off swing from my usual hilarious self just give me a bit and I'll be back in full swing and no time. Thank you all who waited patiently for me *Blows kisses* I will repay you for your kindness! XD)**

_**RANDOMNESS! Chapter 11!: Dear god! Anything but that!**_

"Boyd!" Wesker yelled looking around outside and on the beach to find no sign of me. "Where did that annoying girl go?" He questioned himself as if it would make any difference as he looked around in the night. I had been missing for a total of 3 hours now and it was past midnight. "?" Wesker then caught sight of a form and the porch swing. He walked around the corner of the beach house to see two blue flames on poles. 'Thats not even physically possible!' Wesker thought walking up to The Merchant.

The Merchant chuckled and opened his coat as Wesker appeared, "Got something that might interest ya." He said showing him something that could not be seen from behind the coat.

Wesker looked disgusted, "Why would I be interested in that?" Wesker asked cocking his head back.

"Its rather big, don't you agree stranger." The Merchant pointed out as Wesker glared at it.

"I've seen bigger." Wesker shrugged not really interested.

"I'll buy it for a high price." The Merchant said wanting to know who had a bigger one then him.

"Ask Mister Drebin." Wesker said sighing as he continued to look around while standing in place.

The Merchant now looked like he was going to cry, "How is that possible, stranger?" He asked his eyes tearing up.

Wesker noticed this and did not want an emotional merchant on his hands, "Its got a good design." He said fake smiling appalling that he had to.

"Really?" The Merchant brightened up now smiling. Wesker nodded and then The Merchant frowned. "Not enough cash! Stranger." This did not make Wesker happy since he did not wish to buy The Merchants _'Laser Cannon'_.

"I was not interested in purchasing that item." Wesker said growling crossing his arms at the greedy over priced merchant.

"Hehehehehe, figures." The Merchant laughed then closed his coat.

"Now have you seen Boyd around here?" Wesker finally asked what he had been waiting to ask, The Merchant boring him out of his skull.

"She was kidnapped stranger." The Merchant said catching Wesker's attention making his eyes glow.

"What!" Wesker then grabbed The Merchant's collar and The Merchant raised his hands in surrender.

"Easy stranger. The kidnapers left a note." The Merchant then pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to Wesker as he put him down.

Wesker then opened the note and began to read. As he eyed the note and read further his eyes widened behind his shades.

'Dear Albert,

We the _Better Villains _have taken Miss Boyd and decided to keep her. She will take us back to our world and then we will rule and you will drool.

!

Your friend, Spencer.'

Wesker cursed under his breath as he crumpled the paper back up into his fist and

threw it into the ocean. The Merchant then opened his coat again and chuckled.

"You interested now stranger?" He asked looking up to the glowing eyed Wesker.

Wesker scoffed then rolled his head, "Fine!" Wesker then snatched it from The Merchant and put it on his hand. It was rather big and nicely designed.

"See stranger." The Merchant said smugly and crossed his arms.

"Yes yes yes, it is nice." Wesker said rolling his eyes. After he holstered the 'hand cannon', yes it was the hand cannon. What did you think it was? Perv! Any way after deciding to buy the hand cannon Wesker threw some pesetas at The Merchant and ran back inside to tell the others.

"Christopher!" Wesker came running into the beach house while every one else was making out. Sora with Leon, Valery with Hunk, Mary with Brad, Audrey with Krauser , Jill with Chris, Becca with Billy, Luis with Carlos, Ada with Claire, and ect. Yeah it was a make out party and stuff happens. I wish I was there.

Hearing the sound of Wesker's voice made Chris jump into action with Jill's bikini on his head. "Yes?" Chris ran to stand in front of Wesker saluting him as if they were in STARS again.

"It seems a few of our...old friends have decided to kidnap Boyd. We will began searching for her. We will split up into groups so I suggest every one get out of their drunken haze." Wesker ordered explaining the situation to every one. The only people who did as he said was Krauser and Chris which lead up to the fact of them interrogating The Merchant about where they went. The Merchant telling them that the bad guys went straight to the castle on the side of the cliff that no one noticed till lightning struck. And now the three of them in Wesker's car driving up to said cliff.

'You better be alright Boyd!' Wesker thought grinding his teeth as Krauser and Chris whined about Jamy being hurt or even impaled.

Little did they or any one else but Wesker knew I was infected with his blood, so I'd be okay...no Ivan's needed this time. (Which was donated by Mr. E)

**In the castle on the cliff which looked exactly like Spencer Mansion...**

I woke up in what looked like a save room. The music was playing, there was herbs, there was a huge box, a typewriter, and my favorite a bed which I woke up BESIDE! God they can't even put me on a freakin bed! Slowly I got up and popped all of the bones in my bed then sat back down on the bed. I was handcuffed and I bet the door was locked. Who in there right mind would want to capture me? Oh yeah thats right the people who aren't in their right mind! Damn!

I mean I just got kidnapped by the rejects of the Resident Evil world. I also life with ALL the other Resident Evil characters. Boy my life is never gonna be the same. Also I'll probably get sucked into the Resident Evil world now that I'm infected. God what bloody luck I have.

I sighed and easily broke the handcuffs with out even thinking about it. I almost completely forgot I was still in my leopard print swim suit till I felt a chill. 'Crap its cold!' I thought shivering as the door cracked open. I saw the light coming from the other side of the door and I stood getting up to open the door all the way. I looked outside to see ,what should be zombie infested halls all clear. I then started down the halls into what looked like a parlor with a fire place where I saw my captors.

Sergei Vladmir was the first person I saw, the idiot was licking his curvy knife making his tongue bleed, the russian emo. Then the three stooges of Resident Evil 4, Mendez, Salazar the midget who kidnapped me, and the Wesker copy cat Saddler. Also the supposed main villain through out the game who got pwned Spencer. The identical twin drag queens Alfred and Alexia. The last I saw was Nemesis who really scared me the most. He was probably the only one who could out do me strength wise.

All of them turned to me as I walked in, I in turn covered myself with the nearest pillow as I felt like I was getting eye raped. "Hey." I waved and felt very uncomfortable as they all looked like they were gonna kill me, I almost kept forgetting if I died I'd only get stronger. So really I couldn't die. Boy the irony has to bite me in the ass doesn't it.

But before I could finish any form of action Nemesis was behind me picking me back up and crossing his arms over me, successfully capturing me again. I felt like face palming although you need two hands for that so it was more like Epic Fail.

"So it seems the young girl joins us." Saddler said then evil laughed as he sat on the couch with his hands on a silver sulk head cane.

'God they need lives!' I thought rolling my eyes. "My names Jamy!" I yelled sounding like I was about to bash my brains in which I was.

"We don't really care, hehehehehehe." Salazar stated getting a treat from his master like a damn tiny dog.

"Well screw you! I don't give a damn either but look where I am." I pointed out mentally crossing my arms.

"You sure are talkative child." Saddler chimed back in and I death glared him so bad her whined and hid behind Mendez.

"I am not in the mood! So put me down damn it!" I yelled struggling in the brain dead Frankenstein's arms.

"Not a chance." Alexia finally said something as she walked up to me and put her long nails on my chin. "You should just be quiet. Or else you'll be sending us back in pieces." She threatened.

I laughed through my teeth, she messed up her sentence. "Yes I would like to send you back in pieces." I smirked agreeing with her statement even though she didn't.

"No you will be in pieces!" Alfred yelled from behind Alexia while being dressed like her. I then took my foot, swung it hard, loosened my shoe, then threw it at him from my foot. It hit him square on the head.

"Shut up drag queen!" I yelled laughing my ass off now.

"It seems comrade has instilled his hate of gay men with in you." The russian idiot decided to join in on the fun now. He walked up behind Alexia after she went to tend to her brother.

"Uh? Fear of gay guys? I instilled that in him you emo idiot! I told him about yoai!" Just thinking about that made me smile. "Matter of fact I never told him about SergeiXWesker." I smiled as Vladmir's eyes widened. Thanks to the fan fiction writers of the Resident Evil world this wasn't going to be so bad.

**30 minutes later after explaining many different M rated fan fiction...**

Saddler was twirling his hair while Mendez and Salazar were puking over the side of the couch. Sergei actually looked like he was enjoying himself with the thought. Alfred and Alexia had ran away about the first 5 minutes. Spencer's eyes were wide and I was pretty sure he had a heart attack. Nemesis was ...well he was unaffected. I had won the battle but not the war. Damn.

But as I sighed and thought I was gonna end up here forever, form jumped through the window and landed perfectly all with weapons and equipment. They looked like a team...a team of fans that is.

**In other places...**

"Why did the damn car brake down!" Wesker yelled kicking the smoking engine.

Krauser and Chris looked at the engine as if they were mechanics. Twisting wires and looking at plugs. They then looked up to Wesker and shrugged. "We have no idea."

"Damn! Your both useless idiots!" Wesker yelled then kicked the car again and the tire blew out. "Damn it!"

**Back at the castle...**

The 5 forms appeared looking like a damn swat team. They were packing...and not bags. Yeah bad pun I suck. The forms appeared revealing showing in the lead Valery with a Ak-47, Sora with a Samurai Edge, Audrey with a Berreta, Mary with an Uzi, and Mr. E my mysterious fan who held a 12 gauge shotgun.

"Aw! I should have figured every body would have died from to much M rated stories by now. Damn! No fair." Sora said while Valery agreed. Mary however just looked glad I was okay.

"Nemy! Let her go!" Mr. E commanded the huge monster who held me. In that instant he let me down and I landed on my ass. "Good Nemy." E was now petting the mutated monster like he was a puppy.

"Ow!" I yelled Audrey helping me up.

"Looks like you had this handled." She said putting her weapon up.

"Yep. Although it scares me the fact you guys got illegal guns in less then an hour then jumped through a 12 Ft. story window." I pointed out the fact automatics are illegal in the states.

"Its your fan fiction." Audrey said shrugging.

"You have a point. Only my fan fiction would have me in a leopard print swim suit while being kidnaped and getting saved by my friends and fans." I said thinking of my insanity.

Just then Wesker finally came swinging in, Chris and Krauser behind him.

"Damn! Were late." Wesker growled folding his arms. "Funk I'm tired, lets go." Quickly Wesker picked me up and started walking back to the Beach house. This was defiantly how one of my fan fictions would end.

YEAH ME!

_***Reviewers Corner***_

_I am to lazy at the moment to write this please leave all questions till next chapter after the beep...BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!_


	12. RANDOMNESS! THE MOVIE!

_The __**RANDOMNESS! **__Matrix:_

_The MOVIE!_

"Follow the white rabbit? What the hell?" I asked my computer who only responded with green letters and porn, which wasn't mine. "Damn thing! What is this the 60's? I don't want a rabbit!" I yelled hitting the computer hard over the head. But as I was pounding the crap out of my computer there was a knock at the door. Quickly I put on some pants and grabbed the disk from my hard drive. I opened the door of my shabby apartment and saw the guys who were buying my virus. No Umbrella needed, it was not raining...yet...Damn that was a horrible pun! Any way...The guy with spiky brown hair and a stupid look on his face smiled looking at the disk.

"Hey I asked for a donut! Nea! What the hell?" Chris The idiot Redfield replied back. Luckily he was playing a character who only lasted 5 minutes into the movie.

"CHRIS!" I hissed. "Remember your lines!" I yelled death glaring him.

He gulped and then pulled the script out of his back pants pocket, "Oh yeah! Right! Wait! I'm not asking a 16 year old...15 year old to go to a club with me! I'm a cop!" He argued and my eyes started to glow red.

"You'll read the damn script or I'll send you back to your world with a red ass!" I yelled folding my arms.

Chris grumbled then cleared his throat, "Hey Nea you know you been working to hard recently, you should take a load off. Come party with us?" Chris finally said his line and hugged the stunt girls around him.

"No thanks." I waved my hand. "I got work tomorrow." I replied in my Neo copy voice.

"Suit yourself." Chris read off then turned and left my apartment.

I sighed glad that scene was over and went to sit back in my apartment. My name was Nea and I was a new age hacker with a double life. I had been having weird dreams or really nightmares of a Resident Evil movie rip off with a girl named Alice. Of course I killed Alice many times because ANYBODY even bloody Kenneth could kill her. I sighed hoping I didn't have another nightmare like that. I then looked at my clock and thought, 'What the hell? I'll have a good time.' After that I grabbed my lousy brown jacket and headed outside.

It was a few minutes before I was at the club that was blaring 'Breaking Benjamin' and 'Evanescence' and I was drinking my guts out. It was a few minutes later before I bumped into an asian woman with a leather black dress on.

"Hey." She said seductively scaring me.

"Um...hi." I waved with the hand not holding a scotch.

"Follow me." She purred and I cringed.

"Why the hell would I do that?" I asked staying put.

"Because I have a white rabbit on my ass." She replied making me tilt my head.

"How the heck was I supposed to know that?" I said blinking at the thought and not going near the image of Ada's ass...I mean Trinity's ass...I mean strange lady's ass. OH YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

"You were supposed to look. Now are you going to follow me or not?" She asked folding her arms.

"Um...I guess. Just keep in mind I'm no lesbo lady. I really have no idea why some one would get a white rabbit tattoo on their butt and expect people to follow them. It makes no sense." I said shaking my head as I followed her outside into...the rain. Great now I need an Umbrella...I hate Umbrella...I mean Umbrellas.

"You wrote the script Jamy I'm just following the act." Ada shrugged and got into the cab me right behind her.

"Shut up Ada! I MEAN TRINTY! God this isn't going as good as I hoped. Maybe I should just cut to the chase." I sighed putting my head in my hands as I sat in the cab.

"Well what do you expect. These guys are a bunch of idiots...maybe you should just cut to the chase." Ada...TRINITY DAMN IT! Then lit a cig and puffed a cloud of smoke making me cough. She offered me one but I shook my head.

"Fine I'll cut to the chase." I sighed.

**Cutting to the chase later...**

I then followed Trinity out of the cab and we walked into an old abandon building that was falling apart as I narrated. We walked up the stairs, panty shots being visible from where I walked behind her. 'Mental note, cast Leon as Trinity next time.' I thought as Trinity then opened the doors to a lounge area with two chairs. Lightning struck outside the huge windows as I walked in and Trinity shut the doors leaving behind me. There was a form which I could not see sitting in one of the chairs.

"Ah! Nea its nice to finally see you face to face." I heard Wesker...Morpheus purr from the chair. **(Yes I had to give Wesker that position...Hehehehe.)**

"You haven't seen my face yet you idiot!" I growled walking over and taking a seat in the other leather chair.

"Now I have." Wes...Morpheus said sitting Gendo pose in... AN ALL WHITE SUIT?

"What the hell Wesker! I said wear your leather combat suit! What the heck is that?" I yelled standing up anger rising inside of me to throw something large and explosive at his head.

"Oh...I must have miss heard. This is what I was forced to wear to Chris' wedding. It doesn't fit me does it?" Wesker said looking at the suit not paying any attention to me.

"GO PUT ON YOUR DAMN COMBAT SUIT IDIOT!" I yelled jumping up and down sparks flying off my head.

"Yes..yes. It is your movie." Wesker said nodding and getting up from his seat. He opened the door, closed it, then opened it again wearing his combat suit from RE 5. "Better?" He asked sitting back down and crossing his legs with that I'm-a-bad-ass-fear-me look.

"Yes..much." I then took a deep breath and sat back down drinking some of the tea on the table then spitting it out. "What is this is?" I asked pointing to the tea cup in my hand.

"Black coffee, I do not like tea." Wesker said folding his arms and messing with his sunglasses.

My mouth flew open and I face palmed myself, 'Worst movie parody ever.' I thought shaking my head then sitting the tea back down.

"Okay ...okay none of that happened. Lets start over." I said waving my hand and messaging my temples.

"Very well...ahem. Ah! Nea its nice to finally meet you face to face." Morpheus said motioning me to sit even though I already was.

"Why am I here? Who are you?" I asked actually remembering my script.

"My name is Morpheus and you are here because you are The One." He explained sitting forward me seeing my reflection in his sunglasses.

"The One? What kind of joke is this?" My voice was reflecting my disbelief now as I sat uncomfortably.

"This is not a joke Nea. You are The One...who will kill Alice and rid us of that horrible rip off movie. If you do not I...I mean a man named Wesker will have taken over the world and infected ever one with a deadly virus...Wait? Whats so bad about that? I kinda like the sound of that future." Morpheus said as I glared daggers at him.

"Keep reading." I growled under grinding teeth.

"Alice will then destroy all hopes for peace in the future of evolved and superior life forms such as ourselves. This Wesker fellow is misunderstood and a very nice God." Morpheus said smiling.

"What? THATS NOT IN THE SCRIPT WESKER!" I yelled jumping up and looking at the rewrites on Wesker's script that was sitting on the table between us.

"Oh but it is Boyd." Wesker chuckled and my eyes began to blaze.

"BOOT TO THE HEAD!" I yelled throwing the shoe I had on at Wesker, him dodging and getting said shoe lodged into the leather chair.

"Temper temper Boyd." He chuckled grabbing the shoe and throwing it back at me. I however could not dodge and was hit getting a red shoe shaped red spot on my head. I rubbed my head and growled as I sat back down giving up.

"Fine whatever! Lets just get to the pill scene!" I yelled Wesker then grabbing something from his pockets.

He then opened both his palms and instead of pills two syringes lied there. "Ouroboros or The Progenitor Virus. Which ever you pick will decide you fate. Well...really wither or not you have tentacles." He said and my fist caught on fire from rage.

"THATS IT!" I then got up and threw the two syringes out the window. "I GIVE UP! I'm going home!" I yelled stomping out of the building and grabbing a cab.

Wesker then stood up and Ada along with Chris joined him, "Do you think that gave them enough time?" He asked looking at Ada and Chris.

"Those idiots, no way." Ada said shaking her head.

Chris shrugged as he stared at Ada's ass, "Hey look a bunny!"

***Reviewers Corner***

_Next episode will be devoted to questions so leave all questions for the next episode...BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!_

**(Short I know but blame the actors! R&R please!)**


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